Run, Forrest, Run!!

Today was the extremely awesome Fargo Marathon!!  For our family, that means two guys running the half marathon while the rest of us pack the camera (and this year, the umbrellas) and attempt to find them in the massive crowd.

When in a crowd that supports running as a sport or a life skill, it is easy to get caught up in the “Yes, everyone needs to be doing this” hoopla.  I find myself all inspired to join in, but then I get home, eat a couple pieces of pizza, watch everyone post pictures on Facebook, and think to myself, “If it weren’t for us non-runners, who would take all the pictures to post?” and I settle in for a nap.

I did get up early this morning to be the best supporting mom/wife in the world.  I am a pretty good mom/wife of a runner.  Three days ago, the request was put in to pasta it up like crazy for them, and I went to my favorite ole stand-by, tried and true Basil and Tomato Pasta.  It is what JP loves to eat for lunch before track meets and it is perfect because it doesn’t require refrigeration.  This time, I was told I needed to use whole grain noodles because Bill is now taking a nutrition class and he learned about noodles.  Apparently, whole wheat is not good enough.  Ok.  So I also bought whole grain linguine and made this awesome salad: Asian Noodle Salad.  I thought it was awesome in every way, Bill ate it because it was “healthy” enough, and JP wouldn’t eat it.  Whatever.  He told me I should have stuck with spaghetti.  Whatever.

Today brought an early rise and shine for us.  The runners left the house at 6:00 and we left at 6:30.  That is what the running paparazzi does.  A photographer such as myself must find the perfect place to spot the two out of a bazillion.  Last year, Bill wore purple and he was pretty easy to see.  This year, I had to go by time.  I am getting pretty good at that too – I found the pacer around where they were expecting to be, and located the two of them.

Of course, JP and his legs of youth were ahead of dad who trained for months.  The most JP has run at one time since his last half marathon in October was around 5 miles.  Sure as rain on a marathon morning, he was off for a nice 13.1 mile jog, soaking up the love from the spectators.  There he was, just to the right of the guy wiping his nose with his shirt and left of the guy running in super short awesome dude running shorts.  He rounded the corner, ran out of sight and we turned our attention to Bill.

A little harder to find this year because he wasn’t wearing his Barney (purple) running shirt, we looked high and low.  But not for long – Bill didn’t look nearly as close to death as he has the other two half marathons he has run.  Usually by mile 10, he pretty much looks, well, pained.  NOT TODAY!  He trained differently for this one…and it worked.  We even got a nice wave as I told him that his son who had not trained was about 5 minutes ahead of him.  At least he left his shirt on, unlike the guy to his right.

And he rounded the corner and disappeared, back into the abyss of runners, swallowed by mile 11.

And, because we had picked such a great vantage point, we got to see them run by again!!

 

It was a very successful day for all!!  Running and photos to prove it!  And ice.  Seems the other knee wants to play mean…dang tendonitis.

I am very proud of my guys – one who worked super hard to set a PR by 14 minutes, and one who decided to run this race about a week ago and ran through some pretty crappy knee pain to beat his dad.

It may take a couple days for the elder to recuperate, he is downstairs studying more nutrition.  Not JP – he is out mowing lawn and will take his Scout swim test at 3 o’clock.   I might still be napping because all this taking pictures stuff wore me out.  And I am famished – the calorie burn from my 2 miles walked and 3 hours standing has depleted me – I might need a DQ later.   Tomorrow I might start training for my next event.

Finding a Balance

I started back to the gym this week.  I know, it is only Tuesday.  But I went yesterday and today, so that makes it official.  I am back on the working out band wagon.  Yesterday, circuits.  Today, Zumba.  Tomorrow, Iron Man.  And I did the one thing I didn’t really think I would ever do at the gym (besides get naked and shower there.)  I weighed in on the scale in front of my gym training girl and let her see the number and even worse, write it down.  Crap, what happened over the summer?

Oh yeah, what happened over the summer is that I ate whatever whenever and enjoyed my kids, relaxed, and was not at all consumed by my calorie count nor my rate of calorie burning.  I didn’t care and I was lovin’ every minute of it.  Look at these kids.

Does it look like I have time to burn at the gym?  Every day they are getting older and bigger and closer to leaving and the mom in me screams, “YOU CAN BE SKINNY AND FIT IN 6 YEARS WHEN THIS IS OVER!!!  DON’T WASTE YOUR TIME NOW!!!!!”  

For example, today JP and I saw each other for those precious 30 minutes of chaos as the kids eat and get out the door on time while I attempt to get myself ready as well.  Sure, there was a hug involved and some hurried “Have a good days” but then I was backing out of the driveway and the bus was rounding the corner and the next time I heard from him was at 6:00 when he got home from Cross Country.  Oh, but I left at 6:15 for Zumba class and when I got home at 8:00, he was sleeping already.  Why?  He has practice tomorrow morning at 5:30 AM so will I see him tomorrow?  I don’t know. 

If I didn’t go to Zumba, I could have spent a couple hours with my son tonight.

How do I balance this all?  It has been almost a week of school, and I miss them.

Oh, that weighing in thing?  I am in a contest – I have to stop eating crap so I can win.  I am a tiny bit competitive.  But I also refuse to become fixated on eating and working out.  Those two things are important but not even close to as important as my family.  NOT EVEN CLOSE.  I have a hard time with doing something partially – I am all in or not in – but I am going to work on that.  Along with not spending any money.  Basically, I am going to be perfect from now on.

AUGH!!!!

Things I have learned at the Gym

First and foremost, no woman seems to be happy with her body.  Every so often, I get to listen to a locker room conversation about how some chick is just needing so badly to get back into shape now that her use-to-be size zero body is now a size two.  Now that she is a size two, everything jiggles.  I so want to say, “It is called being a woman!!!!  Girls are size zero.  Well, girls and women who don’t eat enough!!!”  and then I want to comment, “SHUT UP ALREADY!!”  But I know that her little twenty-year-old body has so much more to go through in life so I kindly don’t offer up any words of wisdom because when I look at her and hear her poor self image, I am sad because she is beautiful.  And I also want to tell her size two friend to say something like, “Are you nuts?  You look great!!”  rather than shake her head in agreement and say something all genius like, “Oh, I know, me too!!  You should see my fat arms.  I used to have good arms but now I am all saggy.”  BLAH BLAH BLAH.  “Step aside children, this regular-sized woman, whose body has waged war against so many things and won, has Zumba to get to!!”

So now I must talk about the need to rid the world of Burpees.   I don’t hate them because they seem like a waste of time or because I feel they don’t work.  I don’t despise seeing them on my circuit line-up because I would rather do more planks.  I hate them because no one with boobs should have to do them ever.  (Unless the next station is “getting yourself all properly arranged again” and I have yet to see that as a station.)  I anonymously made the suggestion that there be a cup-size cut off for Burpees, but much to my dismay, they were in this morning’s line up.  Twice today, for 55-seconds each time, my life was in danger.

http://embed.5min.com/121354519/
How to Perform Burpees Exercise

 

Third, all kinds of people can take water aerobics.  No one needs to make fun or laugh at the brave women (and one or two men) who put on swimsuits and parade past all the windows.   We have more fun in that pool pretending getting a good work out.  It is amazing what kinds of mean things you can do to muscle groups using an innocent swim noodle.  It is also the perfect opportunity to do sweet moves like ride-your-pony, start-a-love-train, and chariot races.  Sometimes, we add some of our own moves cuz we are rebels like that!  We live by the saying, “If it ain’t jiggling, you ain’t doin’ it right.”  One, I am in a swimsuit, it is jigglin’.  Two, I am not a size 0, nor a size A-Wanna-Be.  IT  ALL JIGGLES unless it is strapped in with steel and duct tape. 

Fourth, Zumba is completely awesome.  Go ahead, all you crazy he-man varieties.  Go ahead and laugh.  It is only because you are intimidated by our awesome hip shakin’, hoola-hooping,  body-rolling awesomeness.  Nothing makes me more happy than a good hour-long dance session.  Well, Coke does, but I can’t drink that now that I am a healthy-nut babe-type.  And also, when I go eat at Paradiso, I can sing along to the music now.  True story.  And best news of all, I hear someone at my gym is getting accredited in water Zumba.  Best class + best place = time of my life.  I just picture something like this:

Source

Barre Fitness class promises to make me like a ballerina.  Well, unless they can go against my genetic make-up, I don’t think it is going to pan out. 

Ballerina I want to look like:

Source

Ballerina I have better odds of looking like:

Source

I will update this list…I learn new things all the time at Family Wellness, my home away from home. 

Someone around here has to cook

I have taken months and months off from cooking.  Yep, I told you I was ADD and I choose, well, my brain chooses, to decide to juggle only certain things for only so long.  And for a while, cooking has been one of the things I ignore.  And by ignore, I mean this:

“Hey, what do you want for Easter Dinner?” – Me

“Anything but toast.”  – Bill

“Brownies” – JP

So this week, I was talking to a personal trainer at my gym about why after this week’s 3 circuit classes, 2 Zumba classes, a Body Flow, and a Barre Fitness class combined with our Ballroom dance class, I haven’t lost any weight.  He wondered what I was eating and suggested I write everything down for a week. 

My reply answered it all,  “For breakfast, I ate 2 pieces of cake, half a pack of Starburst, and an orange pop.  Lunch was school lunch where I wolfed down a corndog dipped in ranch and a cheese dipper without even thinking about what was going in my mouth.  Right after lunch, I had a dilly bar.  Then it was 2:00 PM.” 

I have no idea why I haven’t dropped any weight.  HAHAHAHA

So at Ballroom dance, it was decided that this weekend would be the sugar detox project.  I am so hungry.  Without junk, there is nothing left to enjoy in life.  And to make things worse, I had to do the major grocery run – you know, the $250 variety?  The kind that drives me to Sam’s Club the day before Easter (where they are handing out free cans of pop?)  It was the kind where you grab Oreo’s and throw them in the cart because, hello, who doesn’t love Oreo’s?  I can’t eat them, but I can own them, and now I do.  But I bought what I need to make all of the following and the kids, Bill, and I are going to suffer through a healthy batch of meals this week.  I will keep you posted.

Santa Fe Chicken Packets

Clean Pulled Pork

Southwest Stuffed Bell Peppers

Creamy Quinoa Primavera

Pineapple Chicken Kabobs

Overnight Oatmeal

A day to remember…or forget. Either way…

Last night, my Facebook status read:

I am feeling feeble today…sometimes feeling feeble reminds me that 1) I am and 2) I don’t have to be superwoman. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ “

And when my alarm went off this morning, I could hardly move.  My back is showing a little wear and tear, which it does from time to time.  I went to the chiropractor this afternoon where it is never good to hear, “I am not sure where to start.” and, “I am worried about you.” and “You are really going to hurt.” and “You need to come back tomorrow.”  because my back is so tight she couldn’t get a couple places to let loose.  I think an elephant could sit on me and MAYBE that would move a few things, but maybe not.  Today’s treatment involved a little electrocution electroshock therapy electro stimulation, heat, and biofreeze.  I feel like I got hit by a truck.  One the positive side, she told me my lower back (read: butt) was very tight, which I took as a compliment.

But I didn’t sit around after that, nope, she told me not to.  She told me no running and no Bodypump, but she ok’d barre fitness class. 

Description: Barre Fitness is a unique high/energy non impact workout that combines the ballet barre, light weights, sponge ball, and mat work to lengthen and sculpt your muscles and create a beautiful, lean body. Using Ballet & Pilates dynamic exercises combined with Yoga stretches, your muscles are targeted and overloaded to the point of fatigue and then stretched for relief. Join us for this muscle-defining waist-chiseling, seat lifting workout so you too can experience all the wonderful results it will give you!

Ah, this class was kinda like a thigh nightmare.  I was jiggling and suffering and after just one class, I think my butt is pretty much a rock while still in lava form, of course.  It’s all good, I walk like an old lady, so why not sag like one too?  whatever.

Source

After I tanned to help all my reality melt away, I remembered that I was supposed to attend some sort of parent meeting at the 9th grade.  I sauntered in with my DQ cheeseburger (hey, I earned it) and found a good place on the rock-hard bleachers to sit.  It was then that three things took turns going through my thoughts:

1.)  I spilled ketchup on my sleeve and I stink like smooshed tomato.

2.) My back is really tightening up thanks to the plastic bench under my butt.

3.)  Why am I registering JP for high school?  He is just a kid.

Seriously, that was all I could think about.  And those three things combined made me want to puke.  Or cry.  Or both.

Some days, reality is just a big kick in the butt.

Budokon? What the crap is that?

So I have left my audience hanging for a while again.  Mostly because I am so busy working out and then falling into bed asleep.  That is the truth.  I have Zumba’d my butt off (somehow, it isn’t actually gone yet.)  I have joined the Bodyflow cult.  I have even sunk so low as to don this flabby lumpy body with a swimsuit and joined in on Hydropower class.  Yup, that is me, gym class babe.  Tonight, I went to Budokon.  I was pretty sure I would like it based off the description:

Combining Yoga, Animal moves, and Meditation this is the type of class that inspires you. Come explore yoga and learn to play again with the animal moves in a safe non-competitive environment. The Budokon philosophy is best expressed in the belief that one must develop power in stillness (yoga) power in movement (animal moves and martial arts) and power in emptiness (meditation).  From Family Wellness Website

I was so looking forward to a class that demonstrated moves like “dead snake” or “sleeping fawn” but somehow, I was in a room with a woman who could kill me with one snap of her wrist and I was attempting these moves:

Go ahead and laugh, I was sweating like a pig.  Intense.  The best part was the 5 minutes of laying in “dog dead” position at the end and focusing on breathing.  Breathing at that point of my life was a true blessing.

After that class, I was heading to Zumba with only one gym shoe, thus attempting the class in my cute little street shoes, when I decided I needed to use the bathroom quick.  Yeah, the stall had no TP.  It was just that kind of day at Family Wellness for me.

So I left Zumba early (first time for everything) and went to the tanning salon where I practiced my “beached whale” move.  It is my best move.

Will I go to Budokon again?  Uhhhhh, wellllll, if I have a bad week eating I might use that class as a punishment for myself.

I Zumba’ed

I got all ready – even put in my contacts just because I was about to take the plunge into a fitness class.  If I was going to show up and shake my groove thing with a bunch of other people, I was sure going to do it in style.  I picked my all-black work-out outfit because of course I wanted to look my slimmest.  Yup, I was ready to join the Zumba cult. 

I danced for an hour.  Here is what I know:  once a cheerleader, always a cheerleader.  I can still do the footwork.  Here is what else I know:  I favor shaking my hips to the right.  I am just better at making the shaky thing shake when headed to the right, I don’t know why, I guess I am right-hip dominant.  So I am going to work on my left butt shake before next week, when I plan to try it again.

 

For my 1/2 birthday, which is coming up quickly, I want one of these in gray.  It goes well with my sleek black look.  Once I do this for 8 weeks, I will be ready for my Caribbean Vacation!!

Just a little side note: If Bill joins me ever and I mean EVER in Zumba class, you will know he did something horrible to me and is paying a very very huge penance.

Ok, on to other things.  I am going to share my recipe for Morning Glory Muffins (which I got from my sister-in-law) which have become a breakfast staple around here because I am back to eating healthy.   After all, why bother shaking my thing if I am just sitting around eating M&M’s and Doritos?  Man, that makes me hungry, I might sneak a few chips while I go soak the sweat off.

Mix thoroughly:

2 cups flour (I went half and half – whole wheat/white)

1 1/4 cups sugar

2 tsp. baking soda

2 tsp. cinnamon

1/2 tsp. salt

Stir in:

2 cups grated carrots (don’t grate your knuckle off like I did)

1 apple – peeled, cored, and grated

1/2 cup raisins

1/2 cup coconut (skipped it!!  Blech.)

1/2 cups chopped nuts (skipped them!!!  Super blech!)

In another bowl, mix:

3 eggs

2 tsp. vanilla

1 cup applesauce made from apples you picked, sauced, and canned yourself (I suppose other stuff will work.)

Add this mixture to the flour mixture; stir just until combined.  Spoon into a very well-greased muffin pan.  (Grease it up like John Travolta, seriously, grease every surface.)

Bake at 350 for 20 minutes.

So if someone can tell me how many calories are in one of these babies, I will know how many I can eat in one sitting.

New Years Resolutions

I don’t do them.  Period.  End of story.  I do like the idea, but I never keep them, so why set myself up for failure.

This year, I started my “new me” crap at the end of November.  Bill and I signed up for the gym.  While he has gone all gang busters nutso and decided to spin and circuit and all that sweaty stuff, I have taken the “I don’t want to hate it after a week” meets “I want to be able to walk tomorrow” approach.  I watched other people work out while I walked laps.  This was my view (taken from their facebook page.)

After about a week of testing out a couple machines upstairs and a couple more downstairs, and mostly watching other people, I did what I thought I would never do, I met with a personal trainer.  Of all days, I forgot my workout socks so I met with a personal trainer in my block dress socks.  He (yes, he) showed me what 7 strength training things to do to help my lower back and the rest of me without hurting my lower back.  He was a genius, so far so good.  And I am all hot now and stuff.

This bike room makes me want to poop my pants.  Seriously, I am not sure I will ever go to a class there.  But maybe this month, I will join one of the other cults there – ya know, like the zumba chicks or the yoga babes, or when I am all smooth and sleek, I might be found in the Yogalates class.  I will most likely continue with my version of working out for quite some time, and until that times comes, when I am Chuck Norris-like, I will hope that my lumps and rolls don’t show in my awesome new workout clothes. 

PS.  All our Christmas cookies are almost gone, so life is about to go back to normal.

Here goes 4 months of torture, and no, I won’t learn to love it

Yep, it has been way too long since I ate like I should.  I am starting a 4 month clean-up.  Why 4 months?  Because I am going to Jamaica in about 4 months.  I don’t want to look like a bloated flab of lumps and stripes on the beach.  I don’t want to be one of those people who other people look at, lean over to their friends and say, “Someone should have told her she doesn’t look good in that”  even though I am wearing an Amish dress-style swim suit that covers me head to toe.  The stripes are here to stay, the flab I can do something about.  Bill is joining in too mostly because I do the cooking around here and secondarily because he doesn’t want to look like crap next to my hotness.  We also are going to exercise.  Please pray.

Here is my plan for the work week:

For Breakfasts: Breakfast cookies and egg whites of some sort (Maybe scrambled with spinach or maybe hard boiled?  Mini Frittatas maybe even.)  Grapefruit.

For Mid-day Snacks: Greek Yogurt,  Energy Bars, apples, oranges

Monday – Clean Waffles  The kids can smother theirs in butter, chocolate chips and syrup, I will find some other option.  Maybe organic PB and bananas.  Or maybe berries.  Crap, what is happening to me?

Tuesday – Vegetarian Chili – sour cream replaced by plain Greek yogurt.  No cheese for me.  No Doritos.  BOOOOHOOOOO 

Wednesday – This will be the hardest night – Bill and I usually go out for date night.  Clean Fajitas   Oh please, oh please be good.  We probably also need something sweet because we always eat something sweet.  Chocolate Banana Smoothies?? 

Thursday – Chicken Taco Wraps  Using Plain Greek Yogurt instead of Sour Cream, of course.

Friday – Home Alone!!!  I don’t have to plan anything fancy!!  Sweet Potato Fries Dipped in Ranch – I wish.  Probably left overs.

Late-night snacks – I am not eating them.  Period.  I will be fasting after dinner every night, and will be journaling.  And exercising.  And reading my Bible. If the Bible is daily bread, I should get my carb fill.  And I will be going to bed earlier because I cant be healthy if I don’t have enough sleep. 

I read this list to Bill and he rolled his eyes and whined about it.  Well, I watched the PX90 infomercial today and got all educated in the world of pyrotechnics or plyometrics – whatever – so I expect him to look like this in 4 months:

Source

Complete with the little tiny swimsuit.  Minus all the veins popping out. 

90 Days Fitness Craze

February 21st.  That is today’s date.  I feel slumpy, lazy, and my digesting system is not happy.  I am over-sugared, under watered, and ready to kick it to the curb.

I am doing a 90 days fitness craze.  Meaning what?  Eating clean every single day (with exception of special occasions) and exercising every day.  No minimum on the exercise for starters, just gotta do something every day, ramping up to the 5K I am going to run on Friday, May 20th.

May 22nd is 90 days from today.  Can I do it?  Stay tuned – I will blog once a week on my progress and stick-to-it-ness, because if there is one thing I am not good at, it is sticking to something so torturous.  I know I will feel better once my diet is back on track, but getting there is )@#*$(@#$(@&#$(&@#!!!!!!  Right now, I really want some cookies.  Chocolate Chip cookies.  Warm. 

Who’s joinin’ me???? 

---

On that note, my girls requested Grandma’s Green Ice Cream Cake for their un-birthday party this weekend.  TORTURE for the mom who can’t eat the sugar and is having serious cravings on Day 1 of this journey.  (It is day 3 of no caffeine and so far so good!)

Here is how I walked through the delicious jungle of temptation and came out victorious:

This recipe is one of my favorites.  I don’t like Dairy Queen cakes because they have way too much vanilla ice cream.  In fact, that white ice cream doesn’t even taste like vanilla – I think it taste like nothing.  Waste of my time and calorie intake.  I generally eat the chocolate part and give the rest to Bill.  This dessert fixes that problem, actually it one-ups DQ cakes big time!

Open Oreo package without sampling one – you know they are good, no need to sample.  Crush them up – this is a fun endeavor, a chance to get the meat tenderizing hammer out and work out your salvation with fear and trembling. 

Mix the beloved Oreos with two sticks of melted butter or margarine.  Yep, I could pretty much bathe in this!  Can they make a facial out of it?  Oreos have healing power.

Press this mixture into a 9 X 13 pan. 

Cover with 1/2 gallon of softened Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream.   (I actually used more like 3/4 of a gallon.)  Freeze.

In saucepan, mix 2 cups sugar, 2 cups evaporated milk, 4 squares unsweetened chocolate and 1 cup butter or margarine.  Cook 15 – 20 minutes until partially thick.  Go ahead and sniff it, but you can’t taste it.  Let it cool.

Ok, this stuff smells so good, you have to remember what is in it to keep yourself on track with the making but not eating goal.  Just look at this picture.  NO!!!!  Back away from the lard!!

Spread over ice cream and freeze. (Note my UMD shirt from 1993 – yep, Missi, I still have it!)  While this stuff froze tonight, I shredded – yep, you heard me right – exercised. 

  

Spread 2 cups of whipped cream (in my house we call this Cool Whip) on top of the fudge layer.  I love Cool Whip – again, I could sit with a carton and a spoon and have the time of my life, but I didn’t even lick the spatula.    See, me sad.

I guess I needed a deeper pan, better stick with 1/2 gallon next time.

Freeze.  Garnish with shaved chocolate.  I will do that the day of their par-tae! 

And yes people, I did it – made it without snacking along the way.  Serving it without helping myself will sure be hard!