2 for 1: What We Know For Sure

So many things in life are iffy.  This is not a list of those things.

Mine:

  • My kids will grow up – I can’t stop them.  In about 2 years, I will be the mother of 4 teenagers.  Holy Crapoly.  Some day, they will all be in college.  I don’t even know how to react to that statement, other than “Missi and I are vacationing.”
  • If I play by the rules and don’t take an inch, no one will notice.  If I bend a rule, and work a little rebel into my life, everyone takes note.
  • No matter when I plan a vacation or special event, I will have my period.
  • Someone will always be more **_________** (insert any goal here) than I am.

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  • There will be great weeds in my garden.
  • Stick with your gut instincts.  Especially if you have a good thing going with God. Because…
  • …God is a for sure.  He is always available.
  • When I am in a hurry, I will get behind a slow poke.
  • Swimsuits look way better on a hanger than on me.
  • Bill is a constant.  I can pretty much predict his reaction to anything…he is a for sure.
  • If it is not written down, I run a pretty good chance of forgetting for sure.
  • Vegetable seeds will not germinate in a garden treated with round-up.  **bonus points for that one.
  • Mini-vans are a status symbol.  Take that however you want.

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  • I will be the one in need when the toilet paper runs out.
  • If I buy something and need to return it, I will have lost the receipt.  However, I have a ton of receipts that I don’t need all over the place.
  • Batteries in smoke detectors only go dead at 3 AM.
  • Things only break when Bill is out of town.
  • If each of our four kids have different things scheduled, for sure all events will be at the same time.  In different places.
  • The van only makes its strange noises when I am driving.
  • Crazy Man would like me to add this last one:  the Pieper vehicles only go over the speed limit when I am driving.

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Her’s:

  • When you spend hours, days, or even weeks researching and price shopping a major purchase, immediately after you pull the trigger, it will go on sale.
  • If you find the perfect jeans, bra, underwear, perfume, or lotion scent- it will be discontinued after your initial purchase.
  • If you say you’ll never do something, you will do it. And then some.
  • Be careful about judging others, even if not out loud. It will always come back to haunt you. No one is perfect.
  • I control the stock market. If I put a sell order in for my shares, the market will immediately tank.
  • The past is the past and you can’t change it. So, get on with it.
  • If you are doubting, that means don’t do it.

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  • I will not make money on anything I have to sell… but Mike will.
  • Things don’t come “easy” for most people. Work hard and enjoy the rewards.
  • If I wash my car, it will rain or snow the very next day.
  • Work should not be your life.
  • Do not rely on info from others regarding someone you’ve never met. Get to know them and decide for yourself.
  • You will never please everyone. In fact, you won’t please most people. The ones who love you will love you regardless.
  • It is perfectly fine to say “no”.
  • Baking powder and baking soda are not the same.

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2fer1 Tuesday–Clearing out

Reverb 10 prompts

December 14 – 14 Things What are 14 things your life doesn’t need in 2011?  How will you go about eliminating them? How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?

Things I am getting rid of:

1.  About 10 pounds.  How do I plan to get rid of them?  No idea.  Nothing fun comes to mind.  I guess come spring, when I shed my winter pounds, I plan to run a 5K.  That might help.  My life will change because I will need a ton of new clothes and people will start to think I have an eating disorder.  Yeah, it will be that dramatic. 

2.  My dependency on Victoria’s Secret for my underwear.  They simply don’t make the ones I have loved for years anymore.  Thus, I must find another style, another brand, but I can adapt, I know I can. How will my life change?  I will again have underwear that doesn’t hang out the top of my jeans, and maybe at the fraction of the cost.  No, I wont go thong. I just cant do a perma-snuggie all day.  Call it what you want, I don’t do wedgies. 

3.  I have oodles of prescription meds in my bathroom.  Enough so that if I died of a drug overdose and they listed all the meds found in my house, I would sound all Michael Jackson.  Or worse.  I don’t know how to get rid of that stuff.  I know I am not supposed to flush it, but ya know, I can’t dump them down the drain either.   How would this change my life?  I guess I would have a cleaner cupboard.  And fewer drugs to make for good stories and rehash memories.

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4.  My life no longer needs a couple of the TV shows I watch.  What Not to Wear is a gonner.  How will this change my life?  1 more hour of time freed up to do the good stuff like surf the web.  I am sure some new shows will come along to replace the old ones…my life will be full of better entertainment.

5.  I no longer need a couple of the T-shirts I hang onto because I have had them forever, remember who gave them to me, and blah blah blah.  They have holes in the arm pits and I still hang on to them.  I am pretty sure that holes in the armpits is some sort of status symbol…not everyone can wear holes into the armpits of their t-shirts.  I think that makes me special.  Or something.  Without these t-shirts, it opens up space in my dresser for all the new clothes I am going to buy because of #1.

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6.  Picture #5.  I got this great frame at a Christmas gift exchange, I think it was 4 years ago, and filled the top 4 openings with pictures of my kids, and then, crap, when I printed them I didn’t realize there were 5 openings in the frame, so I left the picture that came with the frame in it until I could get another print done from that day…oh, but we are so used to Uncle Larry and Aunt Julie in the frame at this point, we forget they are there.  I guess I will print 5 new ones…so long, Larry and Julie.  We will (not) miss you.

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7.  Wisk, how I loved you cuz during my couponing days, I got you for almost free.  But now I have a front-loader so I can’t use you, and yet, I allow you to hang around and collect dust.  Buh bye.  I am sure I can find something else to collect the dust.  Life wont change much at all.

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8.  My recipe box I got for a bridal shower needs to go.  15+ years of collecting recipes has overfilled this thing and every time I go looking for a recipe I just know is in there somewhere, I waste a good 15 minutes.  I plan to type them all in, or make a book, or something, I guess.  I will let you know.  I just know that organizing the recipes will bring order back to the cooking process and I will once again rule my kitchen.

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9.  I am pretty sure I can find enough things to finish off my list in this trash heap Bill calls his “office”.  (We refer to it as the dungeon and sometimes banish Bill to a day of sitting in there. Wish he would clean it instead of sit there in his tiny techno-heaven watching movies on 4 screens at once.)  Just off the top of my head, I see art stacked against the wall on the right – yeah, I think all but one can go.  I see another dead CPU, ooo, make that two, and for sure, we don’t need those around.  My life would be SOOOOOOO much better if this whole room was gutted and cleaned.  Walking past it ruins my mood.  I choose to look to the right and greet Uncle Larry and Aunt Julie instead.

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10.  We have a piece of broken luggage.  Don’t feel too bad – it was part of a super deal when we got 5 pieces for $50 or something like that.  It came to us as a piece of crap, and it needs to leave us as an even crappier piece of crap.  Getting rid of it will make room for new luggage.  Like that will happen.  Like we travel.  As if.

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11.  I need to get rid of a whole bunch of un-matched socks, but really, things don’t just disappear and the mates have to be around this place somewhere.  They just have to be.  To guarantee I find them, I just need to throw the collection away. You can bank on the fact that probably the next hour, I would find all the missing mates.  But I will free myself of the sock collection once again.  In my life, it will mean, well, nothing.  Just part of a malicious cycle.

12.  I would like to have the guts to go through my FB friend list and hack a few off.  Why? I’m just like that. In my life it would mean that I am ok not maintaining friendships with everyone I have ever known.  I am talking people that would maybe notice their friend count dropped by one, but couldn’t figure out who did the dirty deed.  Those kinds of contacts.

13.  I have a couple wall decorations that it is time to see gone.  Silk plant arrangements are hard to clean, and I would rather chuck them than deal with washing each leaf.  Lifetime of the silk plant is almost over anyways.  They have time limits, you know.  Besides, I saw some cool wall hangings at Gordman’s that I really want and getting rid of the old just makes room for the new.

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14.  My truck or van…cuz I want a Yukon XL.  It may not be a need; after all, more kids have piled into cars way smaller back in the day and not died, but since Uncle Sam, who knows everything that is good for me and isn’t afraid to mandate it, told me that all my kids need to be seat belted in, traveling is not nearly as joyful.  Thus, I really would like something that doesn’t push my kids to be naughty whiny little brats while traveling.  And no, I wont shove a TV or gaming system in their faces to keep the silence.  I can expect good behavior without electronics all the time, that is one of my MAJOR pet peeves.  I feel a whole nother blog coming on about that. 

Things SHE is getting rid of:

This would be easier if I could think of 14 things my life DOES need.

There are all sorts of intangibles I’d love to get rid of, but probably can’t. Impatience tops that list, but chances I can eliminate that entirely are pretty slim.  I’d be all impatient the second I couldn’t get rid of it fast enough.

I’ll have more luck focusing on the tangible. Eliminating these things should make me feel all organized and de-cluttered.  And I do like that feeling.  So, in no particular order, here you go:

· The craft tote taking up space in the storage closet.  Let’s face it- I don’t craft.  I will pull out the glue gun (which hubby sometimes uses) and throw the rest away.

· Approx 50 notebooks either full or partially full of blank, lined paper.  Why am I saving these?  I will never use them.

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· Old school books in my bookcase.  Who am I trying to impress?  All they are doing is taking up space and collecting dust. 

· The box of clothespins way up on the top shelf above the washer and dryer.  Are you kidding me?  Hanging clothes on a line outside to dry?  Ha!

· My extra hair dryer.  I know it is there “just incase”…. but if I did have to use it, it would probably ignite the 4 inches of dust on it and start the place on fire.

· My collection of candles.  The only time I burn candles is when the house stinks like taco meat.  I apologize in advance to all those folks who have given me the candles that I will never, ever use.

· The half a dozen empty vases I have stored in the cupboard.  Unless I get free refills on flower bouquets, these will never again see the light of day.

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· That random can of generic brand artichoke hearts in the pantry.  Not really sure what I was thinking when I purchased that.

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· My two “identical but different color” back up purses.  I bought a new one because I didn’t like them anymore. If I need a back up, I am just going to buy a new one anyways.

· The Christmas pins that are in my jewelry box.  I don’t wear pins.  Have never worn pins.  And, if I were to start wearing pins, they wouldn’t be wreaths or Christmas trees.

· And speaking of Christmas, the Christmas towels and placemats in storage.  I am not a holiday decorator.  Have never been a holiday decorator.  And, if I need a new hand towel, it will be a solid neutral color.

· My “Ferris Buehler’s Day Off” VHS tape.  Infact… all of my VHS tapes.  They are so 80’s.  Time to convert to DVD.  Or, better yet, just watch online when nostalgia strikes.

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· The approximately two dozen assorted sized photo frames that were “so cute” and “such a good deal” that I would someday find just the right photo for.  If I haven’t found the right one yet, I never will.

· All the empty totes I have sitting waiting to be filled.  I won’t need them, since I am getting rid of all of this crap.

A 2fer1 Tuesday deal!!

A new phenomenon has begun here on Our Piepshow.  It may be weekly, it may be hit and miss, but on some sort of regular Tuesdays from now on, you will be privileged to read a 2fer1 deal.  I have so much fun going back and forth with my sister-in-law so we decided you all get to read our joint thoughts, which I am warning you, may get out of control at times.  Our brains work a lot alike, but often have different takes on life’s topics.

Today, we decided to take on the Writing Workshop prompt of the week together.

Mama's Losin' It

3.) CONTROVERSY! Are the new security measures performed by the TSA really that bad? Take a stance!

My Take: 

I don’t fly all that often.  I wish I could fly all over visiting all sorts of exotic places but a budget has to play some sort of role in my life, so my family tends to stay put or drive to our destinations.  In the rare case I fly somewhere, I love to play all the airport games.  I like to pull my luggage behind me because it feels all official.  I like to stand in line and show all my ID and stuff, it makes me feel important.  I really want to say something all funny when the checker inner asks if I packed my own bags.  But I don’t, because I know I might be subjected to, well, a cavity search or something even better.  I like taking my shoes off, because I plan ahead and wear slip on shoes, so who cares.  I love the game of seeing if we set off the metal detectors because I never have yet, and my hubby sets them off all the time.  I always hope he gets a pat down so I can watch and laugh, and I probably won’t change that line of thinking now.  Who needs belts and pockets full of crap?  Remember, I have my awesome purse?  Everything I need is in that thing.  So this February when Bill and I fly for our 1st real vacation in years, first to a warm place in the middle of winter for sure, I will get to play all the airport games with much delight. 

I would soooooooo much rather get scanned (lucky lucky person who gets that view of this hot bod in that manner)  and/or patted down (watch out, Bill will be very jealous!) than get blown up to smithereens.  If I have to play another airport game and jump through another hoop to be safer, then I will do it with glee and a glimmer of naughtiness in my eyes, hoping that just as Bill tends to set off the metal detectors and attract the fattest people on the plane to sit next to him, he may be one of the lucky ones who gets scanned and patted.  Just in case it is me and not him, I will provide the following picture for all the world to see so that no one in the TSA gets to see anything the rest of you don’t.  I am Miss July.  I don’t like how the picture makes my butt look fat, but whatev.

Her Take:

There was a time that I dreaded flying.  The thought of being cooped up in a metal container with wings tens of thousands of feet above ground away from everyone I love made me so anxious that I could barely function in the hours before a trip.  One trip I was coming home on a small prop plane and it was storming and there was so much turbulence and I felt so petrified… and then I looked out the window and I swear I saw Jesus’s face in the clouds.  It gave me a peace that I can’t explain.  From that moment on, my mindset when traveling is that it is ok… I am never alone.  I have actually come to enjoy flying… it is usually some good down time… relaxing with the tunes… I am out like a light.  Well, most of the time.  There was that one time I got sick… but that’s a different story!

Now, to the topic at hand.  The new security measures performed by the TSA.  I was the lucky recipient of both a full body scan (see Miss TSA calendar- February*) and a pat down.  I feel cheated, though, because I got the pat down BEFORE they made the modifications. I only got the “downtown” pat down and my top was totally ignored (apparently they didn’t think I could pack heat between the girls)! I really didn’t feel violated, the agents were professional, and I got a good chuckle out of the deal.  I know others do not take this lightly, but for a majority of people, this is a quick painless measure that at least makes an attempt to keep the evil out of the sky.  I am very aware that the system is not without its flaws, and that it will not prevent every potential tragedy.  The accountant in me wants to see the ROI for proof that it was a solid business decision to invest millions in the equipment, but I am guessing that is for them to know and for me to never find out!  For now, when I board, I just remember the peace I felt that one stormy night and that I am not alone.

(I added this direct photo of Miss February for those of you who don’t click on my links.)


Just for the record, it is she who found the TSA calendar.  Enjoy it if you have a warped mind, like we do.  I think the Jesus looking down from the clouds is giving us a waving finger and possibly a scowl right now!