“If you’ve got fat, don’t worry about that…

…just spray your fat away.”   – Commercial that I just know will be the answer to my lumpy thighs.  Count me in.  I just had to share so next time you see me, you will know my secret.  Anyways, maybe I have been spoiled by the DVR but commercials…AUGH!!  Horrible!  Watching commercials is the biggest draw back of live TV.

So over a week ago, Bill and I finally made the decision to dump cable TV.  This has brought many evenings of special times spent together.  For example, tonight.  I am watching the local news and surfing the web and Bill, well, he is sitting about 8 feet from me doing this:

He is watching some movie with his noise cancelling earphones on.  I can’t even shoot him a comment here and there.  Yes, all this interactive family time is sure bringing us closer. 

Gas prices are even worse than commercials.  Especially when you drive a monster.  (We love our monster.)  I found a gas station that has the right price, I just might fill all our containers:

Yes, I took that picture while driving.  But I don’t text and drive, so I am all good.

Sunday, yes, May Day, we woke up to snow…that made 8 continuous months with snow although this is hardly snow…it melted.  And it rained today.

My girls were thinking that we should go rob our back neighbor.  They have a pot of gold.

And that is a quick wrap of our week thus far.  At least the blog-able parts of life.

I have to talk to Bill now, he has decided to join the land of the living again. 

American Idol – top 12 ladies

So tonight we are watching our recorded AI.  Curly had an eventful day with her frenectomy.  She is coloring from her cushy spot on the couch.  JP’s parent teacher conferences are over.  Yeah, we know he gets bored.  Do something about it. 

So anyways, let’s declare today’s stuff over.  Why not sit down and take a listen to the ladies?

Jennifer Lopez looked really good.  I like her hair down. 

Ta-Tynisa – I like her funky hair – she just lets it go.  Her vocals were ahhh…ok, nothing great.  Her dress was cool too, but if I tried to wear it, we would have wardrobe malfunction.  And her name – whatev.  I should have hung on to her song because it was the only non-ballad until the very end.

Naima – what the heck is with the dress – peacockesk.  The girl can sing though, so I guess she can wear whatever she designs -whatever.  I didn’t like the song choice – only because I don’t like that style, but she can really sing.  I don’t like old lady music.  And I stand by that.

Kendra – Holy tight pants, batman!  Ya know what I would look like in those pants?  Woof.  If she is going for the man vote with her pants and shoes, it might work.  Steven seemed to take notice. 

—-  And we pause now to eat scrambled egg dinner, prepared by Princess,

who is taking super care of her sister. —

Rachel – You’ve been a very bad girl.  Time for you to go home.  Your song made me want some of Curly’s gas just to get through.  Buh-bye!

Karen – She says we need more Latin sass on the show and then sings Hero.  Barf.  In Spanish.  Adios.  Here in North Dakota, Americans speak English, but then, we are back woods hicks.  As a second language, some of us speak Canadian.  Anyways, back to Karen. 

——–  Please, someone pick a fun song!! ——–

Lauren – On a Monday, I’m gonna love ya?    It is Thursday and I don’t.  Love.  Ya.   And the clothes were yuck too.  The black boot things.  What’s up with that?  She sang alright…but when it was over, I wasn’t moved like the over-loving judges. 

Can the judges say anything bad about anyone???  Cuz they are not all that great.  Some of them make me feel like Curly did when she puked on the floor of the dentist’s today. 

Ashthon – her hair is really Diana Ross – like.  In a cool way.  I wonder what it feels like.  Her clothes kinda left me like, “WHAT????”  And her song choice was another let down.  She is pretty, though, so I will keep her around another week so she can pick another song and impress me.

— PLEASE SOMEONE PICK A FUN SONG!! —

Julie – She reminds me of a beauty pageant contestant.  I have liked her in previous shows, but I don’t think she sounded all that great tonight.  Or maybe it was just because the girls have Barbies that look like her, so I cant think of her as anything but

Haley – I guess I like her, but at this point, I am sick of girls trying to sing all soulful.  They all are singing the same style and all trying to be smoldering…sick of it.  She also wins the award for biggest mouth. 

Thia – only 15, and singing a song fit for, I donno, someone WAY older.  bored of these songs.  On my own?  You probably don’t do anything on your own at age 15.  You can sing, but jeeeez, hang on to youth while you can.  You will be my age soon – and still then, you don’t need to sing old lady songs.  Sure you can sing, but pick something FUN!

Lauren – Curly likes this song.  Me too, because she isn’t trying to be something she isn’t.  Sweet 16 and not trying to be 35 and seductive.  AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.  Refreshing.  Like a drink of Pepsi on a bad day.    My favorite so far just because she didn’t sound like the rest.  THANK-YOU!!!

Pia – She reminds me of the bachelor chick.  But anyways, the web is crawling with all kinds of prior experience, like I guess she sang the National Anthem at Shea Stadium. I donno, I still liked her song a ton.  And if it had to be a slow song, at least it was one I knew and liked. 

And that is a wrap – the last two were my favorites.  Please, rid the show of Rachel!!! 

Now we can watch tonight’s show and see if America Agrees with me.

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American Idol

Yeah, I am sucked back into the AI vortex!   Tonight was top 12 guys – some were great, some well, sung like I sing in the shower, which is kinda pitchy all over the place.  Some of y’all, it just wasn’t good today, dawg. 

First Dude Clint – I just cant even get passed/past? his glasses.  I am just stuck there.  Cant hear a thing he sings.  Which is too bad, I think he can sing pretty well.  Next time, I wont look and I will just listen.  He reminds me of someone…

 Source              Source

Jovany – the name alone.  And He sang a song I love.  I’ll be the greatest fan of your life.  Well, maybe not really.  But I am sure someone will be with that sweet voice and name.  Jovany.  Really.   He has nice abs too, so they say.  Superficial, much?  No, not me, not really.  It’s all talk.

Jordan – just had to skip this performance.  period.  nasty.   First to go. 

Tim – I had to use rewind to go see which performance I had missed and that doesn’t say much about it.  But when I watched it again, it wasn’t so bad.  Just nothing I will remember tomorrow.  Didn’t that old mean judge that I cant even remember his name used to say that?  (Simon)

Brett  – I am jealous of Brett’s hair, in a weird kind of way.  It looks so soft.  I wonder how he gets such great curl – Curly and I need to talk to him.  He reminds me of Carrot Top, of course.  I will never take him seriously.  I am waiting for a punch line.  Always.  See, I don’t even know what he sang.  It is all about his hair.

James Durbin – He has Tourette syndrome.  He makes me want to yell out an expletive.  I don’t like that style of music, although he is pretty good at screaming in a musical way.  He needs a different name – James just doesn’t cut it for him.  Something that ends in x.  And a tail?  He is party animal of some sort.  Not a James.

Robbie – He needs to pick something young and cool.  He is 17.   Different hair, different clothes, but really DIFFERENT SONG!!  That is the APCA song.  All I can think of is dying dogs and cats.  Please make a donation to your local pet adoption agency. 

Scotty – the country boy.  Don’t sit on a stool and lean to the side while raising a lip in one corner.  I don’t know why but I love his voice (I like country music) but I have to look away while he is working so hard at being country cool.  Oh shoot, I just looked up – keep the eye brows under control too.  He will be on the radio in a few months…

Stefano – You’re amazing just the way you are.  That’s what he said.  Just don’t try to be too amazing – those high notes pained me.  “Nothing awkward” “You’re a beast!”  I like this guy.

Paul – he has a killer smile, maybe a lot of teeth bleach? Just a guess.  A Kenny Loggins kind of guy with a quirky voice.  His last name is McDonald and that is perfect for him.  Paul McDonald.  Yep, he fits his name very well.  I wonder how diverse he can be.  Time will tell. 

Jacob – The way he moves, I think he is going to be a wienie but then he sings…and oh my that guy can sing.  Not my style at all.  But man, he can surely sing.  But then he cries – please don’t cry every week, I cant handle it.  He belongs in a church choir with Mandisa.  Whoa – there is an idea.  The two of them together would be epic.  Or something.

Casey – He is my guy.  Anyone who can play the stand up base is it for me.  And I liked his shoes.  I guess I would trim up the locks a little.  I just like him.  He needs a little of the teeth bleach, but he can just go ask Paul.  I love this guy.    Lopez told him he is sexy…I mean, come on!!!  Even Randy wanted MORE MORE MORE!!  Feel the love.  He is my #1 vote. 

That’s a wrap.  Ladies are tomorrow.  This should be fun.

Who do you like?

A little bit of this, a little bit of that

1.  An important thing I learned about blisters – When I got the blister at the wedding, I decided that since I didn’t have liquid skin, which is a great product, I would substitute clear fingernail polish.  DON’T EVER DO THAT.  Holy burnin’.  Holy cows dancing me.  Get it off!  Get it off!! 

2.  The Bachelor is back on.  Yep, sucked back into this crap.   I don’t even know what to say about it.  Almost ashamed, but then not.  Does this look like a face you can trust?  Fool me once, shame on you…fool me twice – well??

3.  I got skinny jeans.  And boots.  I just don’t know what to wear with them.  This is me with them, with my cleaning T-shirt complete with bleach stains.  When I showed them to Princess, she was kinda all “ummmmm” so I don’t think she thought skinny jeans were made for mom.  Ok, so I paid all of $5 for the pants, a wise investment since I am not sure how much I will wear them…

 

4.  I had fun at the grocery store yesterday…got these things for free using coupons.  4 veggie things, 4 yogurt things, and 2 Grands.  I used to rock the coupon world, but I don’t have time too often anymore.  PS.  I could eat Grands daily.

5.  Sometimes I just need to go back and look at my babies.  Thought I would share.

     

 

6.  And a way back of the grown ups

 

That’s all – nothing all too world shattering today.

What? No built in TV’s in our vehicles?

Nope.  Not a single one.  We own a couple little DVD players, but honestly they just don’t get used.  Maybe if we ever were to get stuck in a snow bank, we could whip out a movie player and watch something…I donno.

“How in the world do you travel with children and no TV?”

Easily.  We drive, they are strapped in, we all get to where we are going.  Traveling done.

“What do your kids do while you drive?”

Sit down for this – they read, listen to music (or Dave Ramsey), and look out the windows.  My girls each read 17 books on our trip to DC this past summer.  It can be done.  Sometimes, we even converse.  We have had some of our best conversations in the van.  None of us can escape, so we talk.  For our road trips, I have packed all kinds of craft supplies, our favorites being tape, pipe cleaners, and tin foil. 

“How do your kids feel about not having TV’s in the vehicles?”

I feel like they can’t miss what they have never had. 

“I am fine with that.”  “I don’t really care.”  Those are the replies from the girls. 

How about when it is dark?

We have been known to sing loud and crazy and miss our turns, and sleep.  The kids do not have DS’s or anything like that, so when it gets dark at 5:00, we talk a little more and then hope the quiet means catching up on some much needed ZZZZZZZZZZZ’s.  Or we do some more talking.  Crazy man just needs some tunes and his pillow and he is good to go. 

Being able to be un-entertained is a missing trait in this generation.  Having to always be provided with something to do, thus having the inability to sit quietly is one drawback to having every little toy and technology at our fingertips 24/7.  I like that my kids can just sit and look out the window.  It is a life skill.  

Downsized!

Bill and I have found a new TV show we love, Downsized.  It is a raw honest show about a family who has come upon very hard financial times.  It is going to be fun to watch how they dig themselves out of it.  They seem like a really cool BIG family.

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If we needed to downsize, we could get rid of so much.  First to go would be cable TV.  Although I love watching TV more than the average girl, I am no fool and know that it is almost a complete waste of my time. 

What do you have that you would let go of first?

Sister Wives–it’s lighting up all the boards

Ok, I am going to admit that Bill and I watch Sister Wives every time it is on thanks to our DVR.  Why?  Another one of those train wreck things…just cant look away.  I have much to say about it.  But mostly WHAT IN THE WORLD?????  I just don’t get it.  This week, Kody, Meri, Janelle, and Christine welcomed a new wife to the mix, Robyn.  Well, Kody welcomed a new young toy while the first three wives (especially Meri) looked like they were really not happy to get reduced from once every three night with their man to once every four nights.  I just cant even make myself go there…yikes.  A man should not be kissing his girlfriend on his way out the door to the birth of a child from another wife and then talk to the doctor at the delivery about doing IVF with yet a different wife.  Oh, the circles he runs…train wreck people, train wreck.  CHOOOOOO CHOOOOOOO!!!  You can hear it coming’ and feel the rumblin’s.  GET OFF THE TRACK!!! 

Coupon deals for instant Oatmeal again…check here for Quaker $2 off coupon. Just for you, Missi.  You can print two!

This week is a 3-day week for anyone who has anything to do with school in our district.  So for 5/6 of our family, that means 4-day weekend BABY!!  I need a break – working in the capacity I work requires some well-timed breakage.  Happening in the middle of a guided reading quiet work time, comes my quote of the day, “Hey Mr. XXXXXX, your butt’s on fire!!”  I could make an entire entry about funny things kids say…kids are awesome, especially the ones I work with.  “Mr. XXXXXX, your butt’s on fire” – where do they come up with this stuff???  It made my day.

I went nuts in Hobby Lobby today.  They sell pink and green things in their Christmas supplies area – cleared them out.  Think wedding.  Think 50% off.  Think grinning all the way out of the store.  Think about how I will go back a couple more times when they stock more.  Think about how much of a rush getting 30 yards of ribbon for $2.50 is.  Think happiness.

Good news – our school pictures came back today.  I look older than I picture myself as always, but not too stupid.  A girl never knows when they lady turns her body at a weird angle and then tells her to tilt her head even more and then even more and then chin down and then even more and then turn to the right a tiny bit until basically she is dizzy and contorted.  But I don’t look all that bad.  Not like these people.

I would scan mine for you, but my tech support is out of town and I cant seem to get the second in command to get it to work.  Karalyn is our back-up techie.  She has a huge future in the world of cubicals.  She can decorate her cubical in pink and green – maybe leftovers from my Hobby Lobby shopping day.