Reality and Fantasy

Today began with a beautiful fog lifting in the neighborhood leaving the trees painted a glistening white, shimmering under the sun.  It was beautiful to stare out the patio door at all that was perfect and clean.  Except that my patio window is smeared with dog snot and ahead of me was a day of dusting, laundry, cleaning bathrooms, and the much dreaded hands-and-knees variety of mopping the floors.

What?  On closing day of Princess’s big play, we are cleaning?  Shouldn’t we be at the spa getting hair and nails done?  Sure, in the fantasy world that is High School Musical, we would be.  But we live in Reality Town, Midwest America, where the dust is thick enough to write our names.  We have bars to bake for the after-show party and have run out of butter. We have a broken bathroom faucet and not the right supplies to fix it, all of this leading to an awesome pile of under the bathroom sink stuff all over the bathroom and little hope of getting it cleaned before my mother-in-law comes.  Bill is in town picking up supplies.  And oranges, cuz he wanted oranges.

I know my mother-in-law doesn’t care.  I really truly know that.  I want to pretend it is ok with me to have her see the filth we live in every day, but I can’t – so out comes the bleach, out comes the Lysol, out comes the laminate floor cleaner.  Holy Moly, we can see the floor in Princess’s room – it has gotten that crazy around here.

Ok, I will report back in later today.

Mid day reality check-in.  I scrubbed two bathrooms.  Why do I wait so long in between?  The worst stuff is the dust bunnies behind the toilets.  You can’t use a wet rag back there, the dust bunnies become killer spider webs that wont let go of the rag.  Instead, you get some TP and wipe it up first, but then, crap, you took the garbage can out so you could mop and the toilet bowl has blue stuff in it so where do you put that TP?  Ah, I hate cleaning bathrooms.  But they are done.  And that is why my hands are dry as sandpaper.  And my eyes burn, and I need a nap.

I just want to be Lucy.  She gets to lay around all day.  And snore.  Lucky dog.

So as it sits, most of my to-do list is done and what isn’t done isn’t going to get done because I am done.  For now.  The mess will return.    As soon as we all come home, it will return.  But I am sick of cleaning – about 6 hours of it is about 5 too many.  Lysol spray with bleach eats brain cells.  I think I am high.

One more thing – before you have your son rip off all his Scout uniform badges so that you can sew them onto a bigger Scout uniform, be sure you locate all the thread.  Yes, badges come in about 8 obscure outline colors that I now have to go locate so Bill can sew them all on his new uniform before a ceremony that is tomorrow.  Oh, PS.  Especially on a day when none of you will be back home until about 10:00 to start the sewing project.  Just a little bit of advice.

The sink didn’t get fixed before Bill had to leave for the day.  This is all working out perfectly.

Time for a nap.

Sunday morning recap of how it all actually went down:

Didn’t get the nap – life was a little ahead of me.  We went into town to get thread and run errands – and forgot the capri’s we needed to take to the mall.  So we skipped the mall.  Good thing, I think, town was nuts.   We decided to eat at Applebees as our last show dinner.  So did everyone else.  We ate at Culvers instead.  Which is good too.  Why would anything go according to plan?  We got ourselves to the play on time and had a good time watching all the middle school kids cry because it was over – one of the highlights for Curly (who revels in others’ pain, remember) was seeing boys with running mascara due to tears.  HAHAHAHA – so funny when you are 12.  I didn’t cry.  Princess didn’t cry.  This is middle school, she has to go back to reality on Tuesday (no school Monday) and be reminded that a few of the kids who sang and danced to lyrics all about how if you work together and accept each other, you all win – turn back into their normal middle school selves in the dog eat dog world of Cheney Middle School.  Come on, Wildcats!!


So after the play and post play-party, we got home and watched Bill sew badges on Scout uniforms until 12:30 AM when we all called it a day.  He finished this morning.  We didn’t get to church – the faucet is still broken, requiring trip #3 to the store – and we are still in PJ’s.  We are now out of Dawn dish detergent.  We will try to fit a Costco run in in between Princess’s set strike at 1:00 (where I will attempt to bring home the bedazzled picture of Zach Effron so I can put it in Jen’s locker at work), JP and Crazy Man needing to be at Eagle Ceremony at 1:15, the rest of us needing to be there at 3:00, Crazy Man’s rock band concert at 5:15, and then Princess’s cast party at 6:00, oh yeah, and Crazy Man’s hockey at 7:00.  That is how we roll today.


I better hit the shower and lace up some shoes, this day is about to go nuts.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ava
    Feb 17, 2013 @ 13:55:38

    I adore your writing! It does make me laugh the out loud kind. Please write a book on how to be a Mom because lady you rock this!


  2. debpieper
    Feb 17, 2013 @ 20:38:58

    Good news, Ava. I got Zach. 😉


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