My Millionaire Husband

I got one of the funniest messages today on my beloved Facebook.  It seems the Pieper clan is subject of the Southern Minnesota Rumor Mill.  The fact that we made it into the conversations to begin with was enough to make my day.  What the crap is that all about?  20 years out of high school.  Hmmm…

I guess maybe my husband has come into some money lately without me knowing about it.  And we are not talking a couple thousand.  Seems he is now a millionaire.  Who knew?  I wonder what the story is concerning how he came across that money?  We don’t do the lotto.  We haven’t inherited a sizable estate in years – like all the years we have been alive – NEVER EVER!  Oil hasn’t been struck in the eastern part of the state so no Hillbilly action here.   I wish the message would have specified what we need to do to get those millions.

Rumor has it my man is buying up farm land down there.  Without me knowing. Snap, he is in trouble.  He is such a secretive guy and we have always had such deep communication issues.  I knew he was hiding something – I had no idea it was thousands of acres of the best soil ever known to man.    Watch out, all you farmers, we are going to own your butts!!  Your trucks will all have the Pieper name on them soon and those John Deere green tractors soon will be toting Pieper corn and beans to the Pieper Elevator – we are taking over the world!!!

Except for one problem.  Part of the rumor is that me and our two kids are getting left behind.  Yup, he packed up and left us here.  Well, he musta taken two of our kids with him, since we actually have four of them.  JP volunteered to head to the farm with dad, and my mother-in-law said she would clean out rooms and get them ready for them to head down.  Yep, that is the kind of support I am getting in this divorce.  Life is not fair.

So, if you are sitting around having coffee at the local drug store, just know that The Piepers are still an average Midwestern happily-married couple raising FOUR children (give us full credit!!) and working on paying off our very own .8 acres. Nothing exciting for you all to talk about here.   And, if we come in a couple million, what you need to keep in mind is that I am the family spender, not Bill, so we may buy up some farm land, but first, we are heading to the Outlet Mall.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Dude, we are so cashing in!! « Our Piep Show

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