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How to remove a hummingbird from a garage.

The first step in removing a hummingbird from a garage is to run into the house to gather the family in the garage for a wildlife rescue.  Do this by reminding them of last time’s failed attempt and subsequent death of one hummingbird.  No time to waste!  A life is on the line.

Next, gather your tools.  You will need a super extended pole of some sort, a little fishing net, some packing tape, and a scissors.  What you are about to assemble is known as the Hummingbird Relocater 2012, marketed under the name HBR 2012, mostly because relocater isn’t a real word.  We may file for patents, but in the meantime, if this tool can be used to save lives of hummingbirds everywhere, we are willing to forgo monetary profit.


Carefully tape the net to the pole, and there you have your very own HBR 2012.  Be careful with the powerful tool in your hands. 


Gaze in amazement at your handiwork.  What you are about to do is heroic. 



Watch the hummingbird intently for a flying pattern.  A general guideline is as follows.  Fly – bump into ceiling, fly some more, bump into ceiling, repeat.


Start swinging the HBR 2012 towards the hummingbird.


Add some hummingbird food and a hockey stick.

It helps to chant, “Here Birdie, Birdie!!”

I am happy to announce the bird was caught and set free.


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  1. Trackback: Batten Down the Hatches!! « Our Piep Show

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