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How to remove a hummingbird from a garage.

The first step in removing a hummingbird from a garage is to run into the house to gather the family in the garage for a wildlife rescue.  Do this by reminding them of last time’s failed attempt and subsequent death of one hummingbird.  No time to waste!  A life is on the line.

Next, gather your tools.  You will need a super extended pole of some sort, a little fishing net, some packing tape, and a scissors.  What you are about to assemble is known as the Hummingbird Relocater 2012, marketed under the name HBR 2012, mostly because relocater isn’t a real word.  We may file for patents, but in the meantime, if this tool can be used to save lives of hummingbirds everywhere, we are willing to forgo monetary profit.

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Carefully tape the net to the pole, and there you have your very own HBR 2012.  Be careful with the powerful tool in your hands. 

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Gaze in amazement at your handiwork.  What you are about to do is heroic. 

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Watch the hummingbird intently for a flying pattern.  A general guideline is as follows.  Fly – bump into ceiling, fly some more, bump into ceiling, repeat.

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Start swinging the HBR 2012 towards the hummingbird.

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Add some hummingbird food and a hockey stick.

It helps to chant, “Here Birdie, Birdie!!”

I am happy to announce the bird was caught and set free.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Trackback: Batten Down the Hatches!! « Our Piep Show

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