Why do we…???

I have had a week when again I wonder why I work where I work, doing what I do.  I have said it in my blog before – I am/was a science girl.  I cleaned rat guillotines for the med school as my work study job.   Good stuff, but now I am tired, I am running on empty, honestly I have sat in a bubble bath in tears twice this week already and it is only Wednesday. 

I work with some pretty fantastic kiddos who battle bigger demons than any child should.  I work with overcomers.  I support children who win just by being in school on any given day.  It is not easy.  It drains me emotionally.  But when I ask myself why I choose this way to spend my days, I only get one answer – because I am called to.

I have talked with Bill about going back to school and getting back into a science-related field.  I wrestle with this issue a couple times a year, the times when I allow my “self” to get in the way rather than allow God to put me where He wants me to be and do what He wants me to do. 

We also provide Family Support to families in need.  We are often asked why we do this, “You are busy. You chase four of your own kids. How do you find time?”   Here is what is boils down to:  we do it because we can. 

Psalms 68:4 – 6a

Sing to God, sing in praise of his name,
extol him who rides on the clouds;
rejoice before him—his name is the Lord.

5 A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows,
is God in his holy dwelling.
6 God sets the lonely in families…

So if we are to be the hands and feet of Jesus, and be an example of compassion, how do we not?  If the lonely need families for God to set them in, how do we close our home and keep all we have to ourselves?  How do we know of the needs of children in our community and walk away from that when we are equipped to serve them?

I don’t want to hear the words to a song like this and know that I am not doing what I can.  I hope to NEVER feel that way.



I am thankful that this week, as I wrestled with this issue, I heard this song on the radio.  It was perfect for me, it was God telling me to put on the armor, because I am not getting out of this fight any time soon.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Rachelle
    May 02, 2012 @ 19:50:06

    You will know when the time is right to pursue a science-related job/field. For now this is your calling, as you have clearly come to the conclusion. You have more than enough love in your heart to give not only to your children, but to other children. There are not enough people in the word who are like you. For now this is where you belong. Do not let your desire die, however, to go into another field. You never know, there are opportunities to “minister” in those areas as well. When the time is right, you will know.


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