Callin’ all Unprolonged Ladies

This here’s a post for the shorties in the crowd.  You know who I am talking to, those who are fun-size or height-challenged or whatever nice way you choose to say, “legs the length of average peoples’ arms.”  (Arm-like legs, wouldn’t you like them to be that skinny?  Oh, that is a whole ‘nother line of thought and I refuse to hop on that train car tonight.  Not when pie making days are right around the corner.)

Jeans!!  Jeans that fit are a rare find, in fact, if you are sententious like me (nope that doesn’t mean genius, although that would apply here as well, it is just another fancy word for short) you are pretty much sick of pants that drag on the ground or having to buy high heels just so your pants fit, thus having to pay a chiropractor to keep your back in line because high heels = advil = blech.   And you know in your heart of hearts that making the jeans shorter has to be an easy thing to do and paying someone to hack them off is just as painful as coughing after stomach reconstruction.  And you think to yourself, “Crap, self, youtube must have a video about how to hem and you are a smarty pants (pun intended) so get yourself stoked, get youtubing, and get those dinggity pants hemmed!!”

So, you find the perfect video: How to Hem Your Jeans with the Original Hems: The Professional Way.  “Professional?  Why yes, that is me now that I have made two things with my new sewing machine.”  I mean, these jeans are like a dream except for one small 5” problem.  I can do this so I can wear them tomorrow on “Thank Goodness it’s Jeansday.”


After pinning and sewing and ironing and reveling in all you have done, you proudly walk out with jeans that look like they were made for your little tiny legs.


People out there, you can do this – PIECE OF CAKE!!  Don’t pay anyone to do this for you EVER EVER AGAIN!!

All you tall girls out there have problems of your own.  I have no advice, except quit wearing high heels around me.  It is some kind of “ism”, I am sure of it.  Heightism.  And it is illegal.


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Larisa
    Nov 17, 2011 @ 22:47:59

    Amen Sister of the short legs!!! 🙂 I need to get some new jeans, wanna go shopping w/me?!


  2. debpieper
    Nov 18, 2011 @ 06:53:17

    any time!!


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