Addicted to Euphoria

The day started at 3 AM when my imagination heard the smoke alarms beeping.  Since I was home alone, I had to lay in bed waiting to figure out which battery was dying so I could figure out how to pull it off the wall and smash it with a hammer.  Sad thing was that I lay there for an hour and it never beeped – and happy thing was I WAS GOING TO THE CITIES to shop with my sisters-in-law again so who cared??

My day didn’t go any better once I actually got up.  I dumped milk all over my kitchen counter, forgot my phone at home so my chauffer had to turn around and then when she did turn around, her van quit.  We decided that maybe evil forces were trying to keep us from dropping the big bucks at the malls.  Nothing stops us – NOTHING!! 

The outlet mall part of the day started at Under Armor where I got off to a quick start.  We moved to Aero and then to Corning Ware, and then Bass, and I just kept buying stuff – over and over without the ability to stop myself.  Seriously, I was spending all of Bill’s money so easily, I knew the day would lead to trouble.  It didn’t slow down.  Ever.  It is a sign of maturity when buying Pyrex brings euphoria.  I am addicted to euphoria. And this is the evidence – I cant hide it, Bill does the bookwork around here, and he was smiling as I handed him this pile.  I don’t think it was a good smile, more like a “Holy crap, who is this woman and why can’t I get her under control?” smile, complete with headshaking. 


We kept this pace up right into GAP where we met the funnest (yes, it is a word) co-shoppers.  While some mature patrons tried on clothing, these young ladies decided to try on panties and bras right there in the store.  Giggling, laughing; suddenly, we got sucked into their vortex and this is what happened, I cant explain it:


After pulling ourselves together, we moved down the mall.  Long story short, I found a credit card, we turned it in to a store who recognized the name as a recent customer, then walked out to find 3 ladies rummaging through their purses in dire panic, we recognized the freak-out, told them we found the card and where it was.  A life saving lesson for all involved.  No judging from me, I lose stuff all the time.  A couple months ago, it was my driver’s license. 

We continued down the strip mall creating moments of glee and elation.  If not for ourselves, for those blessed to be around us.  We radiate awesomeness like that, especially powerful when in a group.

It was about 3PM when I decided I needed to use the restroom and get myself a snack.  We were way too far from our van where my healthy options were so I had to suffer through a Mrs. Fields experience.  Poor me.  The restroom experience was a whole ‘nother story.   I wont go into details, but the first stall Missi and I checked contained such a show of what the human body can when everything goes wrong, that as I sat in my stall literally heaving, I yelled to Missi, “How does that even happen?”  And we laughed/gagged about it all day.  ALL DAY and late into the evening hours.  PSA:  PLEASE FLUSH EVERY TIME!!!

Somehow, a bunch of us landed in Fossil together.  It was there that I learned that my current purse, which obviously by reading my blog about it you will find how much I love it, is ugly and no one would carry it around.  It was brought to a vote, even.  Fine, where better than Fossil to replace one rejected purse with another?  I decided to down-size a ton, and my new purse, which required a new wallet, hardly holds anything.  But it wont bring ridicule, and wont make my arm fall asleep, so it is a win-win.  Don’t ask me for kleenex, chapstick, or a tampon, I don’t have room to carry that stuff anymore.


One of my favorite parts of the trip was our lovely annual dinner at Maynards.  The place was packed with Gopher fans watching my NDSU football team crush their team.  Let’s just say that when the waitress explained their flatbread options (YUMMMM) and one of them was “buffalo” chicken, **someone** at our table asked her to use the word “bison” for the evening instead.  It was Bison night and I was rude and loud about my support of the winning team.  How do you like them local boys beatin’ up your fancy team?  That’s the way we do it up here.  (I am pretty sure my Bison could beat the Vikings too, but I have put the Vikings on “ignore” status until further notice.)

Cabelas was calling next, and I just knew the joy we radiate as a group might be too much for camoland, so I took it down a notch.   We had a specific list of fishing lures young men in our family want for Christmas.  For example, Crazy Man asked for a water mouse.  You know, for all that bass fishing he does?!?!?!  But a good mommy never questions fishing lures, she just buys.  We completed the search the best way possible, we asked Ken in fishing for assistance.  And he sure came through.  He, at one point, in all serious fishing guru speak, asked us if we were doing a scavenger hunt.  Pretty much, yes, but no.  That would be a great idea for next year!!  I also tried to steal an extra piece for a tackle box, but they caught me.  I thanked my cashier for not turning me into the cops so I could raise my children.  We closed down Cabelas.  Yes, we did.

Between Cabelas and our hotels, something went wrong with Sarah.  She got lost driving through the mess that is Eden Prairie’s roads.  At some point, she was singing, “Jesus take the Wheel” because she was laughing so hard, she had to pull over.  It is not good for drivers to be in that state of overjoyment (yes, that is a word.)  What you need to know is that Sarah and I can get lost in the cities and be really ok with that, really.  Neither of us care.  However, the car behind us with the other three S’s-I-Ls probably didn’t find as much pleasure in the moment.  Never fear, as soon as she could breathe and see again, we got where we needed to be.

We didn’t get our annual group picture because one Cuckoo flew out of the nest early.  Why?  There could be nothing more important than a second day with the crew.  Whatever.

We did get this annual picture where once again, my arms look fat:


It was another super fantastic weekend with 4 of my favorite people in the world.  I am blessed, super blessed, euphorically blessed to call them sisters.

And I got a lot of good stuff.


I like this picture because it shows Bill sitting there looking at my mess, knowing that he will have to transfer money around so we can make the house payment this month.  He still loves me.  I got him two shirts, how could he not love me?



3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Missi
    Sep 27, 2011 @ 10:21:10

    Another fun and memorable trip in the books…


  2. Trackback: So many reasons! « Our Piep Show
  3. Trackback: “You Didn’t even Think of Mom?” « Our Piep Show

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