Friday Fun

I had to go to the doctor yesterday.  It was a non-negotiable.  It had been a couple years since I had taken care of all the doctoring business, so I figured I would quiet all the naggers (you know who you are) by checking if off my to-do list. 

I think I might be the bright spot in a doctor’s Friday of clinic work.  For as much as I hate what is going to be done to me in the name of preventative health, I still make jokes with the assailants.  For example, when she was about to excuse herself from the room so I could finish disrobing, I told her to just stay put.  “I want to respect your privacy,” she says.  To which I reply, “Did you forget what you are about to do to me?”

It was only about 5 minutes into the chatting part of the visit and we were in the  “How long since your last XXX and how long since you saw Dr. XXX  (I am a complicated human)” phase of the interrogation when it came to light that I have successfully avoided this kind of assault since 2007.    Then she smiles and tells me that I am going to be donating some blood in the form of lab work and would be receiving two shots.  Ok, I don’t do shots.   I told them I would rather get a colonoscopy than get a shot.  They didn’t listen.  To pull this off, they treated me like a child, flanked me, and gave me one in each arm simultaneously.  I knew Bill had called ahead and set this up because this is #1 on his list of things he nags reminds me about.  He received a call from me letting him know I was onto his game.

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The donating of blood is no big deal.  I am every phlebotomist’s dream girl.  If you can’t hit my veins one-handed with your eyes closed, you are in the wrong line of work.  Draw away, phlebotomist, draw your 100 vials, doesn’t phase me.  All I ask for is a good band aide.  Yesterday was Scooby Doo. 

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I was then scheduled for an MRI (my favorite way of being jack-hammered while trapped inside a tiny tube), a visit to my favorite specialist, and then yes, a mammogram.  WHAT?  I have to mammogram?  I am only “24”.  Based off family history, I am a prime candidate for a good squish now and then.  Bring it on.

Now you know why I avoid this type of Friday Fun.   It is only an open door to more torture. 

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rachelle
    May 14, 2011 @ 13:28:50

    I had to get my baseline mammogram at 35. I was like, I thought you don’t need those until 40! I do not look forward to having to have one done again. They suck!

    But I also hate shots & I know I need a tetanus shot. Your sad face says it all about how I feel about those too.

    Unfortunately for me, the only way I can get my birth control is by going to the dreadful doctor annually.

    Reply

    • debpieper
      May 22, 2011 @ 20:33:34

      I am pretty sure it took me about 7 days to get the pain in the arm to go away…I HATE shots.
      As for the squishin’, I could sing the National Anthem while getting it done – for me, no biggie.

      Reply

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