Deals with God

2 Peter 3:10 But the day of the Lord will come like a thief…

Ok, so when I was a child, I put a lot of thought into the second coming of Christ.  Most likely because I was raised in a home where these things were discussed and studied, I pondered on this topic.  I pretty much knew how it was going to look too.  When the sun sets behind clouds and creates all those rays of light – that is what it was going to look like, and then Jesus’s hands would be outstretched above the rays and He would still be wearing the old school robe and sandals.  Like this:

Now I think He just might come back wearing jeans and flip flops.  (Of course, if He is practical,  He would need to wear Sorels if He comes back to ND in the winter.)  He very well could be wearing a Billabong T-shirt and could be sporting Tats and piercings (besides that hands and side thing He has going on.)  And I no longer think He will appear backlit and accompanied by trumpeting angels, who also wont be wearing white robes or have wings.  I present Modern Day Jesus:

Over the years, I have made deals with God about this whole returning thing.  It started something like,

“Dear God, I just want to know what it is like to be married before You come back.”

And then, “Dear God, I just want to know what it is like to be a mom before You come back.”

I got both those wishes.

Moving on, “Dear God, I want to see my kids grow up before you come back.”

And these days, “Dear God, I want to see what my kids become.”  Soon to be followed by, “I want to see my kids get married.”  and “I want to be a grandma.”

And then I stop to listen to my foolishness.  And I repent of my selfish thoughts.  And then I offer up my true prayer.

“Dear God, please don’t come right after I have cleaned all the bathrooms.  Come right before I start scrubbing the toilets please.  Please do not come just after I have pulled all the thistles out of the gardens.  Come right before I start to weed them.  Just after we pick up the six months of winter dog poop out of the yard is not great timing for me; I prefer before.   Please come just after I slurp down the last of my coke from McDonalds but just before I get a wild idea to go for a jog.  Please come when all the laundry, dishes, and grocery shopping need to be done ASAP but after I eat a snack at Tutti Frutti.  Just before the bills get paid is great.  Just before my annual exam but after I polish off a pound bag of M&M’s.”

Psalms 37:4 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.  (pretty sure this verse is taken slightly out of context here.)

“Dear God, ignore all the gibberish, just make sure the people I love come with me when I go, or if I die before you take them, of course after I go is fine as long as in the end we all end up in heaven together.”  Love, Me

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Kari
    Apr 11, 2011 @ 18:22:43

    lol. I always pray that I will get to be a mom before He comes back. 🙂

    Reply

  2. anne
    Apr 13, 2011 @ 23:03:37

    I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING!!! YOU CRACK ME UP!

    Reply

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