I broke the cardinal rule


I wore flip flops today to celebrate our first 50 degree day of 2011!!  And yes, I left my old toe nail polish on.

It’s That Time of Year
Just a friendly reminder, it’s that time of the year again. Please raise your big toes and repeat after me:
As a member of the Women are Awesome Sisterhood, I pledge to follow The Rules when I wear sandals and other open-toe shoes:

I promise to always wear sandals that fit. My toes will not hang over and touch the ground, nor will my heels spill over the backs. And the sides and tops of my feet will not pudge out between the straps.

I will go polish-free or vow to keep the polish fresh, intact and chip-free. I will not cheat and just touch up my big toe.

I will sand down any mounds of skin before they turn hard and yellow.

I will shave the hairs off my big toe.

I won’t wear pantyhose even if my misinformed girlfriend, coworker, mother, sister tells me the toe seam really will stay under my toes if I tuck it there.
If a strap breaks, I won’t duct-tape, pin, glue or tuck it back into place hoping it will stay put. I will get my shoe fixed or toss it.

I will not live in corn denial; rather I will lean on my good friend Dr.Scholl’s if my feet need him.

I will resist the urge to buy jelly shoes at Payless for the low, low price of $4.99 even if my feet are small enough to fit into the kids’ sizes. This is out of concern for my safety, and the safety of others. No one can walk properly when standing in a pool of sweat and I would hate to take someone down with me as I fall and break my ankle.

I will take my toe ring off toward the end of the day if my toes swell and begin to look like Vienna sausages.

I will be brutally honest with my girlfriend/sister/coworker when she asks me if her feet are too ugly to wear sandals. Someone has to tell her that her toes look like they’ve been dragged behind her car on the way to work and no sandal in the world is going to make her feet look good.

I will promise if I wear flip flops, that I will ensure they actually flip and flop, making the correct noise while walking and NOT to slide or drag my feet while wearing them.

I will promise to go my local beauty school at least once per season and have a real pedicure (they are about $15 and worth EVERY penny). I say spend another $15.00 and get a even better one.

I will promise to throw away any white/off-white sandals that show of wear… nothing is tackier than dirty white sandals.

Ok, but I have reasons.

1.  It was my pedicure for our cruise, the one I got with Jen.  The one last thing I have besides memories of the best week of winter.

2.  That stuff is like permanent – I tried.  I sat in our van in the school parking lot before work and scrubbed at it with my remover and cotton ball.  Shoulda seen me with my feet up on the dashboard, but it didn’t budge.  Guess I have to go in and make it someone else’s problem.  Darn, that means a new pedi for Pieper.

3.  That’s it.

And beside, it is better than the other fashion faux pa I made today, but really, who doesn’t want one of these around here this time of year?  I think it makes me look all official.  Let’s build some sandbag dikes!!  Follow me, I am in charge.


I am not taking this thing off until the flood threat is over.  Works for him, doesn’t it? (I think mine is better colors anyways, I don’t look as bleached out.  And mine has an American flag.)



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: