The magic slider pill

I have informed my blog reading family about how much I adore my mother-in-law more than words can say.  God sure knew what he was doing when He hooked me up with her FORSURE!  Bill often complains that she loves me more than she loves him, which I respond with a “duh” – I mean common, who doesn’t?  But that is a whole ‘nother topic.  And his mom would never admit that, what kind of mom would that make her?   So I just glory in the fact that I know the truth about her love for me.  NA NA, NA NA, Boo Boo!!

So I was reading a very funny blog entry today about a lady’s mother-in-law’s concern about her female parts due to a conversation between her husband and his mother.  Did you follow that?  Just read it here

The blog ends with the question “Anyone else have MIL horror stories?”  And boy, do I have a good story, but I also have an excuse.

A few years ago, I underwent MAJOR abdominal reconstruction to rebuild what the locust children had taken from me.  I had damage that needed internal stitching from under my sternum all the way down to my knee caps, at least it felt like that, and a 27” external scar.  It was major major major and my wonderful mother-in-law, who is also a first-rate nurse, came to help take care of me during recovery.  I came home with a catheter and drains and she took care of everything, including looping me up with as much pain relief medicine as I could take per 24 hour period.  Have I mentioned how awesome she is?  She had to deal with this:  (Please note the tubes leading to my pee, see how yellow it is?  I needed to be drinking more water back then, oh that’s right, I wasn’t eating or drinking anything.  I couldn’t even tell you my name.)


During this recovery, I think around day 4, I decided it was time for me to shower.  Bad choice. Bill had to help me over the tub edge and onto the bath chair.  He was being the husband of the year and washing my hair for me and helping me avoid direct water onto incision and all the good stuff that great hubs do for their wives every day.

Deluxe Bath Chair w/ Arms & Back, BLUE


It was about this point when I knew this was going to go south quickly. I got the shakes and I started crying and I hurt and I couldn’t think straight.  I was dizzy.  Bill was right there the whole time and honestly, I was such a wreck that he had to call in back-up to help get me out of the shower.  Yep, it took both of them to get me out.  My mother-in-law  handled me while I was butt naked.  She didn’t even blink because she does this every day.  She is a saint.

It gets better.  Major abdominal surgery + pain meds = pooping system not working.  It was day 6 or so of this issue and I had been taking all the stuff I could take to combat the problem short of the ole “up-the-XXXXXX” magic slider pill.   But, take heart, she also knows where our local drug store inside the grocery store is.  And she aint afraid to use it.

The day before she was to hand my care over to my cousin (another saint) she threatened to administer that wonderful capsule of relief.  And she was serious – I was down to hours to go. (Good pun, huh?)  I couldn’t run away from her, it was just me and my walker shuffle and we were pathetic. 

Who do you think would win the race? This was all the straighter I could stand up. And her arm around me wasn’t because she was feeling the love, it was so I wouldn’t tip over.


The fear of all that could be must have been all it took to get the system functional.   I have never been so relieved to be relieved.  Surely my mother-in-law will not know me THAT well.  EVER.  I hope. 

We laugh about it now, shoot, we tried to laugh about it then too, except that I couldn’t, so everyone laughed and I reacted without moving my abs.

And that is just one reason I love my mother-in-law.  She will do anything for her family.  And vice versa.  I want to be just like her when I grow up.  My daughters-in-law will be so blessed.  Smile


2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jyl
    Mar 24, 2011 @ 22:05:31

    Marilyn ROCKS! There is no doubt about it 🙂 You are so blessed to have her in your lives.

    This actually made me chuckle and grab my stomach…remembering my MIL following both my C-sections (what we do for kids aye?!) and my hysterectomy! Thank God every day for her and my mom!


  2. Trackback: Another Hurdle Accomplished « Our Piep Show

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