The real me

I laid in the hospital bed huge as a house and not just any old house, this one:

Source has a broken link – Bing Search was my source.

Run down, disgusting, a spectacle.  I was puking my guts out, so one poor nurse was holding my hair back while another was holding a beautiful pink plastic puke receptor.   Cold washcloths were first and foremost on my mind but the medical staff was scrambling on my behalf to make all the right decisions to save the lives of my three babies. 

I was only 25 weeks pregnant, not nearly far enough into it for good results if they were born.  JP, only 2, had given me the worst stomach flu I had ever had. I couldn’t keep anything down, let alone the meds I was taking to stop contractions.  They were coming one after another and all I could do is ralph. 

There Bill and I were, trying to hold it all together.  Trusting.  And then it hit Bill.  He quickly joined the regurgitation club and had to head home, leaving me with monitors, catheters, IV’s, in the super comfortable inverted hospital bed. Nurses never left my side.  NICU staff came in to prepare me.  My room was chaos.

But I rested in peace.  Deep down peace.  Staff asked me why I wasn’t freaking out.  I had the with-it enough to give them the truth.  None of this was under my control or theirs.   I knew God was holding my huge over-inflated belly in His hands and He had this one.  I knew we were all going to be ok.  

In the middle of the chaotic life I live, I am at peace.  I am not afraid (except of thunderstorms and crickets.)

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

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9 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dafeenah
    Mar 08, 2011 @ 07:25:15

    Beautiful story. You are so right. No matter how much we try, plan, or want the final decision is not ours to make. Thanks so much for sharing this.

    Stopping by from TRDC

    Reply

  2. Pamela
    Mar 08, 2011 @ 08:28:16

    I want faith like this. How do you do it? How do you resign yourself to faith? This is a beautiful post, puke and all!

    Reply

    • debpieper
      Mar 08, 2011 @ 15:10:55

      Hey Pam – I was raised in a home full of faith in God, so part of my assurance that my God is real came simply from always being taught that He was there. The deep part of my personal faith that I own for myself came when at my lowest point, I cried out to God and he answered in a way only He could have with an answer so clear. Would love to chat more about it! 🙂

      Reply

  3. Larisa
    Mar 08, 2011 @ 16:19:56

    Great post, it’s amazing to see how He can bring us through anything that He brings us to. I need to remember that more often and FROG (Fully Rely On God)!! Thanks for helping inspire me to be more faithful and know that He is always with us. 🙂

    Reply

  4. Caitlin's Concepts
    Mar 08, 2011 @ 22:08:27

    I’m so glad they were ok!! But I have to LOL a bit at the crickets. 😉

    Reply

  5. Frelle
    Mar 09, 2011 @ 07:18:47

    thank you for sharing this piece of your story that shows your faith and belief, and peace and trust. Wonderful to read first thing in the morning! 🙂 Nice to meet you thru TRDC!

    Reply

  6. Jackie
    Mar 09, 2011 @ 07:24:16

    That sounds like a terrible experience to live through. One that I know I’d be a lot less calm than you were! But you’re right… sometimes there is nothing we can do.

    Reply

  7. Amy
    Mar 09, 2011 @ 07:36:05

    What a beautiful story of peace.

    I love the picture too 🙂

    Reply

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