Eating our way through the cruise ship

AKA:  How to gain 4 lbs in 4 days – a eating tour with Chad and Deb, our new buddies.

Charge, chock, choke, compact, crowd, crush, devour, drive, force, gobble, gorge, guzzle, heap, ingurgitate, jam, jam-pack, load, overcrowd, overeat, overfill, pack, pack ’em in, pack in, pack it in, pack like sardines, press, ram, sardine, satiate, shove, slop, slosh, squash, squeeze, stive, stuff, tamp, thrust, wedge, wolf, binge, eat like a horse, feast, gluttonize, gorge, gourmandize, overindulge, pack it away, pig out, pig, put it away, scarf, stuff one’s face, stuff oneself, surfeit.  (thank-you, thesaurus.com)

It starts at departure.  I take that back.  The minute you get on the ship, you have nothing to do but eat at the welcome buffet while waiting for your rooms to be ready.  Let the eating begin.  Eat buffet.  Grab ice cream cone.  Head to deck for departure.  Hear, “Pina coladas.  Booze/no booze.”  Ask waiter to get strawberry daiquiri instead.   (No booze in mine, for those of you wondering.  Thou shall not mix Bonine with booze.)  While departing, meet girl from Moorhead (keep this girl in mind for later.)

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Oh thank God Almighty, it is dinner time.  Good thing, I am famished.  It has been 2 hours since I last ate.  Eat formal dining.  Pig out.  Some of the fellow travelers were known to eat 3 starters (appetizers) and 2 or 3 main courses.  I stuck to one of each, except I did join in this decision:

Eat two desserts every night (not counting ice cream cones.)

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A little hungry while you wait for concerts?  Never fear, between the elevator and the lounge are a coffee shop, ice cream counter, and bar.  And they will serve you right there in the lounge too. 

After concerts, feel free to get a pizza to top off before heading to bed…or go to Johnny Rockets and eat onion rings, fries, and a burger.  Don’t forget to fill in the cracks with a chocolate malt.  While there, watch the servers dance, but don’t get up and join – exercising will not help with the weight gain.  

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Next Day, same drill different location.  Eat huge breakfast buffet; after all, you never know when you will get to eat again.  I recommend the French Toast with strawberries and whipped cream with a side of eggs and bacon.  Maybe also a banana and yogurt since you are trying to start the day healthy.   If you still have room, fill up with a donut, big bowl of fruit, perhaps also a couple sausage links.  Yep, I ate all that.  Drink huge coffee.

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Get off ship.  Grab food and drink.  Sit around and do nothing.  Notice my gut in this photo, it is already happening.  I am not sure what all to say about the worst picture of me and the fact that I don’t even care.  I guess I still have some of that Bahama Mon in me.  In this picture, we are drinking a CocoLoco.  Not even sure what was in it.  But it was tropical and delish.

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Make sure you hit up the local favorites…

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So after laying around eating all day, get back on ship and repeat the dinner and concert directions above.  After concert, if you are still hungry, grab something off the midnight buffet.

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Don’t be a pig…this is what could happen if you are:

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Just keep eating, you can do it!!

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Last evening, when the comedians ask about ice cream cone consumption, you can feel very good about yourself when you learn that the girl from Moorhead that you met at departure has set the ship bar high as she has eaten 53 ice cream cones.  In.  Four.  Days. 

Hold your head high, you did well.

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