A North Dakotan’s take on South Beach

Today was the day Mr. & Mrs. Pieper explored South Beach.   We saw many things that we just don’t get to see every day at home.   Some were delightful, some were weird, some were freaky, and some were just downright WRONG! 

We started the day with a 2 mile walk from our hotel heading south towards all the action.  Right away, we struck up a deal – first one to see a topless tanner won.  There was no prize involved, sorta.  More on that later.

We ate breakfast at Jerry’s Famous Deli.  (Picture from their website.)  I didn’t know Jerry had a famous Deli – it is not famous where I come from.  I do know a Jerry, though.  I better get his autograph.

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Then we took a walk to Lincoln Road, where all the South Beach shopping hot spots are.  Right away, Bill picked up a little something for the afternoon.

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After buying a couple things, and breaking a “South Beach” hand-painted stemware piece in a store (thank goodness, the store did NOT have a  “you break it, you buy it” policy!!  that would have been a waste of $15!) we headed to the water.

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We walked, hand in hand, for 2 miles of heaven, scouting, looking, searching for the illusive topless sun bather.  Yes, these are our very own footprints! 

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We got back to the hotel, and decided to hang at the pool for a little while.  See the guy in the background?  He was a prime example of why no man should wear a banana hammock.  We tried to get a good picture, but all of a sudden, Bill’s manners kicked in.  Your loss.  We saw it, the image is in our heads FOR-E-VER.  Keep this little manners story in mind.  Wait for it!!  Wait for it!!

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And then, what in the world are we doing sitting here at a pool when the ocean is right down there???  We decided to sprawl out in the sand.  I spotted a good site, pointed it out and then plunked down my stuff.  Just in time for Bill to point out the fact that HE WON!!  YES, HE SAW THEM FIRST.  And guess what?  They are right by the spot I picked out.  Yep, see, no prize except that he got to see them for a good hour!!  I, being the good wife that I am, took a picture for us to laugh about.  No manners for me!!  But Mr. Manners wont let me post it…and it is priceless. 

Then we took a nap.  All this relaxing has worn us out!! 

Quote of the day:  “I am talking to myself.  I know that Chinese are not monkeys.”  – homeless man

Site of the day: the bodies with not enough on.  My swimsuit made me look like a nun.  I needed something with less fabric and more straps.   Never mind that it wouldn’t look good, it appears as though that doesn’t matter.

Story of the day:  We found the hot spot!!  On our right, we saw a hoppin’ bar – TONS of people there.  Then we looked closer.  No females.  Huh.  A gay bar.  Then we looked to our left to see two guys making out.  Yep.  In the grass.  Yes, I SAID GRASS!!  Grass is just not something we see in North Dakota these days. 

We found a place that we felt at home for dinner.  They hung snowflakes at the Mexican Restaurant we ate at. 

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We knew we would see interesting people…we did.  We knew we would see hundreds of beached blue jellyfish, we did.  We knew we would see cat food on the board walk, we did.  (???  Who is feeding the cats?)  We knew we would see a jogger in fishnet stockings.  We did.  We knew we would see a lime green Lamborghini.  We did.  We knew it would be a glorious day, and it was.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. Larisa
    Feb 05, 2011 @ 21:39:35

    Sounds like you two are having a blast!! Enjoy the sights(lol) and have fun! 🙂

    Reply

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