The prayer I couldn’t say

It was a special moment before the wedding ceremony.  The girls all in a circle, connected, praying for the service, festivities to follow, and the marriage of the new husband and wife.  It was in that moment when my heart froze and the prayer that God could hear from my heart wouldn’t escape my lips.  It couldn’t, I was not able to talk in that moment.

I stood there with a beautiful woman, wearing a gorgeous gown, ready to be a wife.  Beside her, my two little precious girls, who adore her.  I had a flashback to the little room I sat in before my wedding ceremony where a little 9-year-old girl was so excited to be my junior bridesmaid.  How could my little Stacy be the bride now?  How could these beautiful little girls be my daughters?  How has this small circle of life completed already?  In that moment, I was so aware of how fast this all goes and how soon my kids will be grown.  One day, I will stand in that room with each of them, and maybe Stacy will have a daughter who can be a junior bridesmaid for them and I will give her a long hug, knowing exactly the thoughts racing through her head.  Way too fast!  Way unprepared.  Way not ready to leave the little girls era and start the journey still ahead.  It just all needs to slow down.

wedding     20101231_153711_7220

So…since I am not all about fancy King James kinds of prayers, this is what I wish I could have said:

“Wow, God.  What are you doing to me?”   Just kidding, sorta.

Take two:

“Dear God, I can only thank You for putting Stacy in my life.  She has been a blessing to me, whether it be while making me suffer through a horrid horse ride when we first met or the tearful chat we had just last week in the truck.  I have so many great memories of her as a little girl, and then teen, and then young woman, and now woman.  She is a treasure.  I love her as my own sister.   I have been the recipient of many sweet things she has done because of the tender servant heart you gave her.  I have also grown as she challenges my faith.  She has asked some great questions over the past few years, ones I may know my answer to, but don’t know where I got that answer, so I have had to dig.  She has continued to amaze me as recent life has thrown a curve ball into her plans and she hasn’t faltered. 

Most of all, my prayer is from a mom’s heart.  Thank-you so much for placing a first-class role model into my girls’ lives.  She loves my girls so much.  She understands the heart of each of them.  She always has time for them, always gets down on their levels and treats them with respect, and encourages them.  I know without a doubt that she prays for them and supports them that way every single day, from miles away.  Protect their hearts as they adjust to an auntie who has to move further away and make room for more people in her life.  Help them to understand.  Help them to always know how much she loves them.  Help them grow up to be their own version of her, of You.

Give Stacy and Phil an awesome day to remember.  Give them a very special honeymoon where they can get away from everything going on here and focus on each other.  Help them transition into a healthy married couple.  Help them settle into their home and build a welcoming warm atmosphere so they can continue to attract more friends to You.  Help them make wise decisions concerning extended family and come visit more often than they plan.  Help them establish strong bonds as a married couple so that whatever the next few months throw at them, they will not be shaken.  My prayer for them is that they are blissfully happy and grounded in You.  Blissfully happy forever.  And that they make lots of babies for Auntie Deb to spoil.  Amen.”

And so, Dear Stacy, you were beautiful and I am sure you took his breath away the first time he laid eyes on you.  I wish for you the best married life has to offer – a constant, a best friend, warm legs to put your cold feet on, a shoulder, someone to do dishes, someone to hold you when you cry, someone who kicks you under the table when you share an inside joke, someone to hold you accountable, someone to balance your checkbook, someone to bounce ideas off of, someone to hold your feet when you do sit-ups, someone to hold your feet when you give birth many many times, someone to get the flashlight and check noises in the night, someone to grow old and lumpy in front of without him caring – maybe even lying and telling you he cant see it, someone to rub lotion on your back in those places you cant reach, someone to fill your car with gas and open your doors, someone to tell you your jeans don’t make you look fat, someone to get a new roll of toilet paper when oops, you didn’t notice there wasn’t any on the holder, someone to shovel, someone to wrap his arms around you and hold you up when life gets to be a bit too much, someone who is the other half of you.

We love you guys.

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3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Rachelle
    Jan 06, 2011 @ 08:06:15

    Wow! What a nice tribute and prayer, Deb! You are lucky to have Stacy & she is lucky to have you. I love your words of wisdom. They brought smiles, a couple laughs & even a tear. Thanks!

    Reply

  2. Nicolle D
    Jan 06, 2011 @ 08:27:37

    that was beautiful!!

    Reply

  3. The "Love Birds"
    Jan 13, 2011 @ 18:31:35

    Wow Deb….I feel honored yet again by your words. You have no idea how much I love you guys! Thanks for all that you have done in my life!!
    Love ya!

    Reply

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