What’s a girl to do?

I am spending 10 days at the farm.  Yup, 10 days.  While most of you may be thinking that 10 days with the in-laws is about 9 days and 22 hours too many, I am enjoying myself.

Day 1 – Morning – we went to  Stacy’s final dress fitting – I already know I am going to cry at her wedding because, well, that’s the kind of big sister I am, I guess.  I am a bawler.  It could get ugly.  We ate pizza at the bar while listening to old guys play golf on the simulator.  Oh, the life.  Bill and I dumped the kids off at Grandma’s babysitting services and headed to the cities for a fun hour at the Mall of America.  Really, an hour, that is barely enough time to park, walk in, use the bathroom, and then return to our vehicle.  Somehow, in the middle of that extended visit to the MOA, it dawned on me why Bill was so supportive in visiting, in his opinion,  the world’s worst use of space.  Yep, Microsoft has moved into my domain.  It may work to my advantage in the big picture, so I happily went in and looked at all the technology that just was mind-blowing.  (Note sarcasm.)  Anyways, after dinner with some unnamed family members, we picked up the groom at the airport amidst a horrendous snow outburst.  We drove back to the farm watching one car whip 2 360’s on 494 and then pass us 5 minutes later.  (Sidenote: what do you call 360’s? – cookies, donuts, poopies – trying to keep this G-rated – or what?)  We passed the time doing the only thing 4 adults can do in a vehicle, well, ok, not the only thing, but ya know, DJ Jazzy Deb played “Can you name the artist” with flashback to the 80’s and early 90’s and awarded bonus points for loudest singing.  Bill won.  All this while driving us at 40 MPH so we got back safe and sound.

Day 2 – Christmas Eve – the big Kahuna.  We almost forgot it was Christmas Eve with all the wedding fever around here and watching the two love birds – pukity puke puke – but were reminded by the awesome Christmas Eve Pageant at the local Catholic Church.  I love me some good Christmas music sung by choirs complete with dancing angels.  I was waiting for the next moves, so I could out dance them, but then I remembered we weren’t playing Kinect, we were at church, and I settled comfortably into my pew for two hours of churchin’.   After that, it was back to the farm for the traditional Christmas Eve dinner of Taco Soup.  WHAT???  Taco Soup?  Since when do we eat Taco Soup? Oh well, Felize Navidad, everyone!  Kids opened presents, we all stayed up late, Santa barely remembered her job, and so on…This is us pretending we are stuck to each other like the love birds.  It turned out kinda cute!

Day 3 – The stocking were hung by the wall tack on the panelling behind the porch door with care.  Seriously.  The kids got socks.  Everyone was happy because Crazy Man slept in until 10 AM.  And we played Kinect ALL DAY!!  And then we took 4 advil.  Merry Christmas!!!  You are OLD, Pieper, OLD!  And I am undefeated in the boxing ring!  When we could no longer throw down any moves, we broke out the cards for a Hearts tourney, which I sucked at big time.  Was the loser of 2 of the 3 rounds.  In a BIG way!  Time to lay off the Facebook for a while and brush up on my Hearts. It was also the day for love birds in throwback snowsuits one horse open sleigh rides…

Day 3 – Day after Christmas.  We did nothing.  I am not used to doing NOTHING for an entire day.  I was so bored, I took a 2 hour nap to put myself out of my misery.  And we watched Grumpy Old Men.  Good stuff.  And we didn’t watch the Vikes because the game was snowed out AGAIN.  We cant even lose as scheduled.  I went to bed after giving a directive:  Tomorrow, I am going to town shopping, so make a list of to-do’s.  And guess what?

Day 4 – I went to the mall.  Armed with the need to be busy and be amongst the people, I set out on a mission.  I have an upcoming BIG EVENT (Stacy’s wedding) and had my outfit all lined up.  Well, this week, it just didn’t feel, well, sexy enough, and I know that when you think of me, you have high expectations in that category.   I went on the hunt for a new black dress.  Yep, even though I don’t wear dresses EVER, I decided I needed a better version of the little black dress.  I found it in no time flat.  I had to do a smidge of sewing up the plunging back because I am a female over the age of  25 who has birthed 4 children and yes, people, I need to wear a bra.  I will post a pic of this slinky black dress when I am all primped and standing next to and behind my kids so they can cover up the body flaws.  That is a bonus of having a slew of kids.  And then I found 7 new shirts too.  You can take the girl out of the mall, but after 3 days of farm life, you cant force a girl to behave in a mall at all.  (HUGE clearances!! Spent a whopping $20 total on my shirts!)  And we watched Grumpier Old Men.  I’ve been to Hawaii.  Oh yeah, and we had awesome hoarfrost.

I would add more pictures for your Christmas viewing enjoyment, but just to get the hoarfrost picture uploaded took me about 5 minutes.  I am in the middle of nowhere, suffering from middle-of-nowhere-internet-speed.  Trust me, on Christmas Eve, I had an awesome hair day, so I would love to post them and pretend I always look like that.

With all the love in the air, I re-wrote my vows to Bill.  They are special, and I will let you in on them.

“Dear Bill, I dont promise you much, but it may be your best offer.  Take it or leave it.”

So far, he has chosen to take it.

So, I am doing well.  Still alive.  Thus ends the first 1/3 of Christmas Vacation 2010.


1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. The "Love Birds"
    Dec 27, 2010 @ 22:11:52

    Sorry to have caused you so much agony and puking this weekend…we’re really concerned for your teeth. Hope that you feel better, and maybe won’t bring the puking on yourself with the clanking of the glasses at supper 😉 Appreciate all of your help! Love you!


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