Thoughts from a snot-plugged head

Do you prefer the word mucus?  I don’t like that word.

Why are sinuses attached to teeth?  I don’t like sinus pressure, and I don’t like tooth aches – so combined, I am pretty much done for.

How much does snot weigh because I have no appetite but haven’t lost much weight here…waiting.

If I eat junk food, I get no pleasure from it since I cant taste anything, so I will be eating hay for a couple days.

If I go outside today in this frozen artic express, will it freeze in my head so I can hit myself in the face, break it up, and rid myself of it?

I am pretty sure my face is swollen, so I look like I got fat from my thighs injected into my cheeks, just like the celebs do.  Except that my thighs haven’t lost any fat.

How does a nose so stuffy I can’t sniff, run?  Run enough to wake me up 10 times a night?

How does Nyquil work?  Is it more the alcohol than anything else?  If so, there are tastier ways to sleep through the night.  Can anyone say Margarita? 

How about when laying down on my side?  How does it move?  That I don’t get.  How can it move uphill when I cant even get it out of my head by pressure-excessive, one-nostril blowing techniques?

Can someone make sure the sun doesn’t come out today at all?  I cant take that bright thing in the sky today.

Also, if you talk to me, be sure you are directly in front of me so I can read your lips – the ears seem to be broken – All I hear is Charlie Brown teacher stuff – wa-wa-wa-wa-wa

Ok, off to school we go – got my Sudafed, Halls, and cough syrup ready. 

Gotta love post-nasal drip.


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