Are you opinionated? Or Constipated?

Did you ever watch The Marriage Ref?  It was a show when a husband and a wife each presented their side of an argument.  The panel of 3 guests were allowed to take sides then and the final call would be made and a winner declared.  I didn’t find it all that funny, but I did enjoy hearing about the little fights couples had.  Like a lady who didn’t find it all the great that her man over grooms himself.  Or should a house have a stripper pole?  These are the issues people deal with these days.  I have opinions on both.  Let the guy get his Pedi’s – he is my hero.  Not really – he is a freak.  Stripper pole, sorry Bill, NO WAY!  If you like to give your opinions about this kind of thing, I found this link on a blog I stumbled across.  It is a whole website of the same kind of thing – people post a question and anyone can log on and give an opinion.  Might make for hours of fun!!  Sidetaker.com 

Alrighty, this topic was requested, seriously, but I wont name names.  Bathroom habits.  How to chat about bathroom habits without crossing Bill’s line of acceptance.  I already did just by mentioning the topic – I asked him for any great leads or feed back and he informed me that bathroom habits were not a topic he would ever blog about or discuss.  Of course, I didn’t ask him about “bathroom habits” – I was more blunt with him.  That is a given after 15 + years of marriage, right?  I just asked him how I could breech the topic of “pooping habits.”  I could have said crapping habits, or dumping habits, or even worse, but I was nice and used the word poop.  Sorry Bill, I was asked to do it.  It is for the people.

I once watched an Oprah show (I know, I know!!) about colon health.  Dr. Oz was the guest and he leaves nothing to the imagination.  Here is a partial transcript of what he said about poop.  I find it intriguing.  (Side note, I like Oprah’s hair best the way she has it in the picture, and it was one of her skinny seasons.)  So on this show, he mentioned something about how humans are creatures of habits, and that some people can only go when everything is the same:  meaning same bathroom.  Go figure.  So if you are one of those people, you don’t go at school or work or friends’ houses and vacations are difficult for you, cuz, well, you are not at home. 

And then there are people who can go anywhere anytime.  Lucky people.  Not lucky for the people who use the stall after them.  I personally have a very very very VERY touchy gag reflex. 

Now, when the blog topic request came in, the issue of “how much do you undress when you go” was mentioned.  (You need to keep in mind that I talk to MANY MANY moms of little kids, so don’t be picturing me having this chat about adults, although I have a sinking feeling it could pertain to any age!)  Stripping completely is out of the question when you are an anywhere anytime kind of person.  I bet those are more of the home users.  I will let you know if I ever notice a pile of clothes on the floor of a Target stall.  This is one of those don’t ask don’t tell things – we really don’t want to know, do we?  Kinda like the 40% who admit to being shower pee-ers.  WHAT?  Please stay unnamed…

How about germs – how do you approach a public toilet?  Layers of TP covering the seat?  The squat but don’t sit method (hard for shorties like me!!) or what?   Lots of bathrooms have those disposable seat covers, but even though I am a germaphobe, I don’t find myself using them…don’t know why – maybe it is because they are mounted right over the back of the toilet and reaching over it to get one is gross in itself.  Do you use your foot to flush like I do?  And then soap up and lather up and get every last germ off before you touch that door handle because you forgot to come up with an escape plan?  And since you had to touch the door handle, you are just so sure you caught some disease…purell, baby!!!  And how do you handle a purse?  Cant set it down, that is for sure – don’t know what is on that floor.  Man, I just may never use a public rest room again. 

Home is the safest, perhaps only good option.

Need to read more? I found a link to a VERY strange site, but this little article about the issues of a pooping make-believe bird made me laugh.  But them I am weird.  And I have 4 brothers.  Need I say more?

Gotta go…

to bed that is…

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