Crazy Man and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day


Crazy Man has always LOVED this book!! 

Set the stage:  Yesterday, our family followed the Cross Country team to Grand Forks for a meet.  We paid $1.42 a minute to watch JP run his 1.86 miles.  Good stuff.  He cut 2.5 minutes off his time, so he is getting the hang of it.  Anyways, we left at 9:00 in the morning and watched JP’s teammates run until about 1:00.  We got in the van to head home and it all fell apart for Crazy Man.

Background information:  Crazy Man is hypoglycemic.  He is supposed to avoid sugar, eat high protein snacks, and snack often.  Well, he enjoys using his freedom to bike over to the gas station and buy wonderful snacks like pop and a candy bar.  He is like a crack addict – he will steal candy out of my van (I have to have peppermints in there for car-sick-prone Curly) if he cant find any sugar food in the house…basically, we have thrown our hand up in the air and he is going to have to learn the hard way.

To the van ride:  Right away Crazy Man asks us to blast the air conditioner in the van.  This is the first sign that he is not feeling well.  Then he says he needs a puke bucket – sign #2.  Then he mentions he has a really bad headache – sign #3.  And all this within about 5 minutes.  We have pushed him way too long without food and because of his sugar bingeing habits, his levels are already low.  Do we have a pricking kit and needed supplies with us? Nope.  Because we are awesome parents that way.  I got him what was left of our van candy collection, pulled into the nearest drive through (Taco Johns) got him a taco and JP digs out a granola bar.  He has to be force fed as he is now laying down, gray as a dead man.  (Sidebar:  Kristin knows all about dead people – do you think Crazy Man’s gray looks like dead people?)

He eats his stuff and falls asleep.  He wakes up saying he feels better, but I can tell he doesn’t.  He pulls himself up by the boot straps and goes out selling his popcorn.  (The kid LOVES to sell stuff!!)

While they are out selling, I get a phone call from Bill.  “Wish I had the zoom lens with – I am watching the funniest thing.”  Crazy Man picked his next home and made it half way up the sidewalk and a large dog (golden retriever) decides to get his jollies at Crazy Mans’ expense.  He has become his she-dog and he cant get away!!  JP was across the street selling and when hearing what has happened, declares that he can make it past the dog and to the door – well, after much needed persistence, JP persevered but not after the dog tried to show him a few of his moves too.  All this to earn their way to Boy Scout camp!!

The best part of the whole thing – Crazy Man comes home to tell me all about this, “Mom, you wouldn’t believe what a dog did to us.  He tried to do the conga line!  He wouldn’t let go so I just started singing the conga line song…da da da da da dah dah…  Here, JP let’s show mom!” and much to JP’s chagrin, Crazy Mna tries to conga with JP – that wasn’t happenin’ – and I was laughing so hard, I had to walk away.  I guess I have done a good job of shielding my children from inappropriate subjects, but I had to explain what this all was with the trio.

Ok, back to the bad day.  We were invited to friends for dinner and headed over in two vehicles (maybe the best decision of my life!)  Just as Bill pulls into their driveway, Crazy Man graces the truck with a massive fountain of puke.  Back of the front seat, seat he is in, floor, everywhere.  Yep, just another fun side effect of the low-sugar-induced migraine.  You would think he would learn!!

Guess what he just asked me?  “Mom, can I have a pop?”  Ummmmmm, nope.


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